Tag Archives: weekends

I’m back..with a lot to say

It feels weird writing on this bad boy again, but I promise I have a legit reason as to why I have been MIA lately. I’m the asshole who gets blacked out drunk and wakes up with a concussion. Honestly, if someone held a gun to my head and asked me to tell them how it happened or they would shoot…well 1. that would be pretty aggressive on their part and 2. I would be dead. Thank you Everclear jello shots.

Let’s try to recap whatever part of last weekend I can rememebr. 

Last Saturday we all went to Closs’ on Long Island for a Christmas Party. Closs got very into the Christmas spirit, she decorated her house. she made Christmas drinks, hell she even made her Christmas shots with Everclear. The night was off to a great start, we were playing drinking games, picked our secret santa’s, continued playing drinking games and eventually went out. Sounds like a fun night right? However, from the initial hug’s hello until the time I hit my head, something went south.

I’m the asshole who didn’t realize that the Christmas shot’s were made with Everclear until the 5th one. I thought she may have had a heavy hand while pouring in the Vodka because after taking the jello shot you were burning inside. Then on to  the game, we played a game called “Shot Roulette”  which basically was take shot after shot after shot. I think I may have blacked out at the house before we went to the bar, because it’s starting to get blurry and I’m not even in the cab yet.

Once we got to the bar I can’t even tell you what happened, who I spoke to, what I spoke about or anything. The comical part about this is that I still don’t really mind that I was at that point. Is that Rock Bottom?

Here’s the kicker in this whole situation though. I am an organized drunk. I was blacked out, slammed my head into something that left me with a light concussion..but I woke up Sunday morning opended my back pack and saw my phone, my wallet, and my clothes folded. How many times  can you say that happened to you?

Sunday morning was terrible, I didn’t even really know I hit my head yet until someone reminded me and when I went to feel for a bump, my whole left side of my head was sore to the touch. I figured I was having a horrible hangover but it was much worse. The headache was pounding, like someone was constantly kicking me in the head, and I wanted to puke all day.

______________________

Here’s why I was gone for a full week…I went to the Doctor on Monday morning and he told me I had a light concussion, he basically said don’t watch TV, stay off the computer, don’t even think if you don’t have to. I heard that bad boy and I ran with it. I worked a total of a day 1/2 last week. Granted, it did really suck though, I had a splitting headache all day, when I tried to rebel and watch TV or go on my computer I would get sick to my stomach. Whether or not I felt better, I was 100% still going to Santacon.

Saturday 12/10/11 – Santacon. 

I’ve been waiting for Santacon since last December, so I didn’t give a shit if I needed to wrap my head up and put myself in a bubble I was going to drink heavily. Luckily, by Saturday I felt fine. We all went to White Plains in the morning, exchanged our gifts in our Santa Suits and then headed to the city for Santacon. Santacon was everything you can imagine. The streets were filled with Santas, it was almost like anything goes in the city that day. If you weren’t dressed in a Santa or Christmas related outfit, you stood out like a sore thumb.

South St. Seaport

That’s just some of the shit you would see that day. It was awesome though, drinking in public was basically no big deal, certainly not frowned upon. As we were walking to the next bar we saw a Santa with an old school boom box so we figured, we had to shake our shit.

Killin it

Believe it or not, mad people were dancing..not just us 2

We ended up going back to this bar we stopped to pee at earlier in the day. The best part was that we ended up going to a back room that no one would went into, and basically had the bar and room to ourself in the beginning. Some girls came in the room and since the bartender wasn’t there they decided to help themselves. Ladies were badass, literally behind the counter pouring themselves beer.

John, myself, Spads & Chaney

This was more towards the start of the day. Let me tell you right now, the pics will be getting worse. Before I show you those, here is a picture of the classiest of them all, Chaney.

hahahaha

There we go, now if that doesn’t get you in the Christmas spirit what will. If you watch American Horror Story, I’ll give you a few minutes to clean up after yourselves before I continue…

…..

……

….and we’re back. The drunker everyone got the funnier the night became. At the bar you would look over and see Santa’s shaking their shit on the dancefloor. Santa’s making out, Santa’s smoking cigarette’s, Santa’s throwing up. If a little kid saw this, they would be damaged for life.

Girls got dirty..

Told you the pictures were going to get worse..Wait till you see this next one.

Holy, Santa's Shitfaced

What tops a pic like that? A comment from his mom saying “It’s a good thing you’re not driving a sled!” on the Facebook picture.

Overall, Santacon was excellent. Mission accomplished.

Merry Christmas!

Did you go to Santacon? 

 


Spotlight – Birthday Week Edition

It’s that time of the week folks. This is usually my favorite post to do during the week. It’s simple, I already know what the topic will be, and all I need to do is figure out who will be featured.

This week I decided I would use a theme. The two people who are featured had their Birthday’s this week.

Introducing the birthday boy and girl…Will and Dee.

Ladies go first, so here’s Dee.

Get It Dee

Today is actually her birthday so get it girl’s are in order. One word to describe Dee would have to be ‘Wild“. She is a small girl with a loud mouth, a surprisingly raspy voice, and curses like a sailor. Not too long ago a few of us from college had a little video chat date and she actually took us all outside with her on a cigarette break. May have been one of the funniest experiences of my life. Shaping the minds of the future by day, drunk and wild animal at night. When Dee comes out, you know its going to be a fun night.

Insight on Dee – One night we all went to a pregame at our friends house before heading to the city to celebrate a friends birthday. After a great night out, everyone came home their drunkest. I was lucky enough to be in the cab that arrived back to our friends house with Dee first. She was so drunk that she was convinced everyone else was home and in one of our friends bedrooms. I watched in awe as she grabbed a butter knife and started trying to break in to the the bedroom. She ended up getting caught with the butter knife in the door as our friends came back about 10 minutes after.

Dee taking us on a cig break

Dee breaking in the door

Next up – Will 

That's about right..

If you ever had to pick a picture that would sum someone up, this is the picture. Will is one of a kind in every way possible. He’s one of the few people that if you didn’t meet him in college, you would graduate feeling like you missed something. Will and I lived together for two years during school, and I have some stories that I could probably get arrested for. (we’ll have to leave those out) Climbing up a billboard, playing ring and run and getting arrested, egging people, MC Hammer for Halloween, climbing mountains to found ‘the spot’ or anything in between, it was never a dull moment with this guy.

The infamous "ring and run" night

Insight on Will – His birthday is exactly two months after mine. Junior year of college we lived in a house with 8 other guys, and for Will’s birthday we decided to throw a party for him. This party turned into one of those parties that you see in the movies, you don’t know anyone there, you can’t find anyone that lives there, you have no control whatsoever, and to top it all off the cops came. Don’t get me wrong, before the cops came we were having a great time, our landlord stopped by with a handle of Patron for Will’s birthday. Will kind of went missing for awhile, turns out he passed out on one of the couches  upstairs. The cops saw him, tried to wake him up, but he was basically dead to the world. Make a long story short, we got a ticket for noise and a meeting with one of the Dean of Dick’s at our school.

Best picture Ever

That’s the Spotlight for today…stay tuned, you never know when you might be on it..


Halloween Pregame

Halloween is basically here. It’s that time of you when no matter how cold it is outside the girls will be dressed their sluttiest. In college, it was basically our Christmas.

Every Halloween there are a few things that always happens, 9 out of 10 girls are dressed as slutty as can be, with the excuse “It’s Halloween!”, every guy tries to out-funny each other, the token couple will be in the token couple costume, there’s always that 1 guy who’s costume you just don’t understand and they pull you aside to explain it, and finally, there’s that girl who’s costume just flat out sucks. It happens every year, and if you don’t think so…look around this year.

In a past post of mine I showed everyone that I love the obnoxious costume.Not gonna lie, my costume this year is sick. (Don’t want to give it away too soon)

And now, here comes the costumes of Halloween’s past….

Lenette and Closs killin it with the slutty..

Caption says it all, these two are killin it with the typical “Skanky on Halloween” look. Get it girls.

Woah with that face

If only you can win a costume contest on the faces you make. This costume is an original, looks like a cowboy had sex with a melting duck who farted.

Snooki

Ahhhhh, gotta love the pop culture costume. How many Snooki’s were there last Halloween? It looked like the world was being attacked by orange guidettes last year. Believe it or not, the little gem in that picture is my 15 year old little brother. Killed it.

If only a picture can tell a story...

Brian single handedly made my Halloween last year. The costume was cool, but when he slammed his sword in our other friends eye (by accident)  put the cherry on top of a great Halloween. Kerns, to this day i’m still so sorry for laughing that hard, but it was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

Thank you God for this

Our resident 2 day hangover queen clearly doesn’t take Halloween lightly. I can’t even write anything else about this costume because I am dying at my desk looking at that picture hahahahaa

Not his best..but..

Grease is an okay costume and all, but I can’t put a post up about funny shit and not include Chaney in it. I can confirm his costume this year will be 10x better.

Remember the costume no one gets? Here it is..

Sorry if I sound like a hater and all but shit, what the hell were you?

Bill and Sookie

300

Lets give credit where credit is due. This is the couple costume section. Can’t knock it though, those were legit costumes. When you date a guy like John, like it or not you are going hard with your Halloween costume. I’m actually pretty excited to see what they do this year.

Top Gun +Face

Large Sorority Girls

Legends of the hidden temple

Group costumes always kill it if you do it right way. Above are pictures of three groups who do the damn thing.

Bull as a Taco

Hotdog costume '07

Whoever decided to turn food into Halloween costumes, I would like to take a shot with. Being a piece of food for Halloween is a hilarious concept.

Serious Will

The pose in this picture is amazing. Y0u have to love it when people get into character for Halloween. Above is my buddy Will just playin the part of a vampire. #getitwill

And those were just some of the more memorable costumes from Halloweens past. I wonder whats in store for this year.  I’ll leave you with 1 more thing….

Damn..Happy Halloween from Kayla and her twins..

What are you being this year?


HangoverBible Spotlight

Wednesday at the Bible is my favorite day of the week. Every Wednesday I like to do the HangoverBible Spotlight. If you aren’t familiar with the Spotlight it’s very simple. I take 5 of my friends and classify them on how they are drunk/next morning hungover. It’s my way of showing you how dirty I get, with the people I get dirty with.

Today’s roster consists of: Derek, Amanda, Mia, Trevor, and wrapping it up Sileo.

Lets begin, shall we?

Starting us off is Derek.

Derek

Derek may be one of the funniest people I know. He’s one of my best friends and most outrageous friends. Going out with Derek pretty much assures you are going to black out that night. When I say Derek goes hard, I mean he goes HARD, I’m talking losing teeth at the bar hard. (I’m not joking) He will go out and get dirty with the best of them. Hangover wise I’m sure he gets them but the next morning when I see him 9 out of 10 times he’s definitely still drunk.

Thatta boy

Up Next – Amanda 

A beast

Amanda is a wild animal when she goes out. One of the most out of control people you will meet. She will make you pee you’re pants laughing while you’re out and even when you get home. Sometime’s Amanda dances on the line of no return. I’m talking text messages making no sense at all, slurring all of her words, even falling and breaking bones. The next morning Amanda’s hangovers are just as wild as she is, she has no problem making you pull over on the side of the road to throw up, actually she has no problem throwing up anywhere. She wears her heart on her sleeve, you know exactly how she is feeling. If you are unlucky enough to be in the carpool with her and she wants to go home she will text the absolute shit out of you to leave. Overall though, she is a hilarious time.

There's our girl...

Tough act to follow, but here’s Mia.

Get It Girl

Thankfully, Mia has calmed down through the years. You don’t get the nickname Noodle Legs for nothing, but that nickname is long gone. Mia is notorious for having two water bottles in her hands, one of vodka and one of a chaser. She can and will throw down with the best of them. Till this day though, Mia will only dance on her birthday, loves to take shots and puts you in the most awkward situations of your life. Mia gets dangerously hungover, I think she may have invented the two day hangover.

She also never has bad pics on FaceBook..

Here’s Trevor the Texan.

Blurry, but hilarious

Trevor was my roommate all 4 years of college. This guy went from hardly drinking in freshman year to killing handles sophomore year, to blacked out fighting junior year, to out of his mind senior year. He went from social drinker to a tank. Trev used to get himself so drunk that he would get pretty vicious bruises, cracked head, cut open eye, random scratches, you name it, he has had it. Going out with Trev always has an uncertainty to it. You never knew how he would get, usually he would be fun though and if you ever wanted to get in a fight, he was the best person to have in your corner. You will always have love for someone who drunkenly pissed in your closet.

Blacked Out Junior Year

Wrapping it up today is Sileo.

Sil

Sileo, or as I like to call him, Staten Island Sil is one of the greatest people to go out with. We have a lot of the same clothing which is pretty awkward so before we go out I usually get a text asking “what are you wearing tonight?” It may sound weird to you, but it’s weirder when two of the people you go out with are in the exact same shirt. I joke with Sil that him drunk and sober are the same thing, no difference. I may be kidding, I may not be, I’d like to showed otherwise by him. The one thing that cracks me up about Sil is that he dances on vacation and is a djais VIP.

Sileo last Halloween as "Elliot Roth"

That wraps up the Spotlight today. Check in next week to see if you make it on the list.

 


Thursday Throwback – Weekend Class

Ahh it’s Thursday already, I don’t know about you but this week fleeew. (3 E’s to show how fast it went) I love weekends like this one coming up, homecoming weekend at my college, so I know exactly what I am in store for.

As promised, every Thursday at the Bible is “Thursday Throwback“. This is where I tell you a ridiculous story from the past. Here we go…

Weekend Film Class

Senior year of college I wanted to do the least amount of work as possible. I was already at the point where I would make my own snow day’s and even rain day’s . When I was a Junior I took a film class titled “It’s not TV, it’s HBO”. This class was an absolute cake walk. Two weekends long of watching all HBO shows. Where do I sign up? Senior year rolls around and I want to do the same film class. I signed up for it right away, along with my roommate Trevor and my friend Mia. When reading the fine print on the class description, it wasn’t HBO it was Cinema through the years. I’m talking black and white, subtitles and any other headache you can imagine.

I played it cool when I took the class Junior year. I didn’t go out the weekends I had class. It was only two weekends out of the semester, but it met Friday 5:30-10, Saturday and Sunday 8:30-5:30. Plus, the thought of sitting through this class with a hangover sounded like torture. Now-a-days waking up at 8:30 is nothing, but in College, I didn’t see sunlight until noon.

After the first class on Friday, Trevor, Mia, and I decided we didn’t give a shit about film class, were all going out this weekend no matter what. The three of us, along with a bunch of our friends went out Friday night. We kept it pretty cool, nothing too crazy. Sitting in class Saturday wasn’t a problem at all, we had breakfast and took a nap for a few hours. Class was a breeze on Saturday, so of course, were going out again. Saturday night wasn’t like Friday night, we went HARD. Tequila shots toasting to weekend class hard. We weren’t the only ones from the class out so we felt like it was okay. Getting home at 3, passing out and waking up for a simple class of doing nothing all day, sounds easy enough right?

Wrong.

Trevor and I walked into class, looking and feeling like we were brutally beaten the night before. The class looked like we were walking into a cult. Hoods on, heads down, pure silence. Mia wasn’t in class yet, she was very drunk the night before and we got worried that we might have lost a soldier on this mission. A few minutes later Mia walked into class, took a seat by Trev and I, and we didn’t speak at all. About an hour has gone by and nothing has changed. Mia’s hand was shaking uncontrollably, Trevor was white as a ghost, and I was about a second  away from throwing up. Finally, Mia decided to get up and take one for the team. She got up, ran to the bathroom and threw up. Shortly after she came back, Trevor got up and ran to the bathroom to throw up. Once he got back, I said fuck it, i’m in the same boat as them, so I got up and thew up. In the course of 30 minutes, three students got up, ran  out of class and threw up. Of course, one is never enough for me so I had to get up again, run to the bathroom and puke for the second time. I’m not a discreet puker, actually i’m not discreet at anything for that matter, so there is a very strong chance the teacher heard all this going on.

Once the three pioneers of puke were finished, scattered people from the class were discreetly getting up and doing it. We started a trend!

Trev and I on graduation

Mia and I on my birthday

It wasn’t one of my finer moments in life, but it made for a great story. And the answer is Yes, I would take the weekend class again, and Yes, I would still go out during it.

Have you ever thrown up during a class due to a hangover?