Tag Archives: Vodka

I’m back..with a lot to say

It feels weird writing on this bad boy again, but I promise I have a legit reason as to why I have been MIA lately. I’m the asshole who gets blacked out drunk and wakes up with a concussion. Honestly, if someone held a gun to my head and asked me to tell them how it happened or they would shoot…well 1. that would be pretty aggressive on their part and 2. I would be dead. Thank you Everclear jello shots.

Let’s try to recap whatever part of last weekend I can rememebr. 

Last Saturday we all went to Closs’ on Long Island for a Christmas Party. Closs got very into the Christmas spirit, she decorated her house. she made Christmas drinks, hell she even made her Christmas shots with Everclear. The night was off to a great start, we were playing drinking games, picked our secret santa’s, continued playing drinking games and eventually went out. Sounds like a fun night right? However, from the initial hug’s hello until the time I hit my head, something went south.

I’m the asshole who didn’t realize that the Christmas shot’s were made with Everclear until the 5th one. I thought she may have had a heavy hand while pouring in the Vodka because after taking the jello shot you were burning inside. Then on to  the game, we played a game called “Shot Roulette”  which basically was take shot after shot after shot. I think I may have blacked out at the house before we went to the bar, because it’s starting to get blurry and I’m not even in the cab yet.

Once we got to the bar I can’t even tell you what happened, who I spoke to, what I spoke about or anything. The comical part about this is that I still don’t really mind that I was at that point. Is that Rock Bottom?

Here’s the kicker in this whole situation though. I am an organized drunk. I was blacked out, slammed my head into something that left me with a light concussion..but I woke up Sunday morning opended my back pack and saw my phone, my wallet, and my clothes folded. How many times  can you say that happened to you?

Sunday morning was terrible, I didn’t even really know I hit my head yet until someone reminded me and when I went to feel for a bump, my whole left side of my head was sore to the touch. I figured I was having a horrible hangover but it was much worse. The headache was pounding, like someone was constantly kicking me in the head, and I wanted to puke all day.

______________________

Here’s why I was gone for a full week…I went to the Doctor on Monday morning and he told me I had a light concussion, he basically said don’t watch TV, stay off the computer, don’t even think if you don’t have to. I heard that bad boy and I ran with it. I worked a total of a day 1/2 last week. Granted, it did really suck though, I had a splitting headache all day, when I tried to rebel and watch TV or go on my computer I would get sick to my stomach. Whether or not I felt better, I was 100% still going to Santacon.

Saturday 12/10/11 – Santacon. 

I’ve been waiting for Santacon since last December, so I didn’t give a shit if I needed to wrap my head up and put myself in a bubble I was going to drink heavily. Luckily, by Saturday I felt fine. We all went to White Plains in the morning, exchanged our gifts in our Santa Suits and then headed to the city for Santacon. Santacon was everything you can imagine. The streets were filled with Santas, it was almost like anything goes in the city that day. If you weren’t dressed in a Santa or Christmas related outfit, you stood out like a sore thumb.

South St. Seaport

That’s just some of the shit you would see that day. It was awesome though, drinking in public was basically no big deal, certainly not frowned upon. As we were walking to the next bar we saw a Santa with an old school boom box so we figured, we had to shake our shit.

Killin it

Believe it or not, mad people were dancing..not just us 2

We ended up going back to this bar we stopped to pee at earlier in the day. The best part was that we ended up going to a back room that no one would went into, and basically had the bar and room to ourself in the beginning. Some girls came in the room and since the bartender wasn’t there they decided to help themselves. Ladies were badass, literally behind the counter pouring themselves beer.

John, myself, Spads & Chaney

This was more towards the start of the day. Let me tell you right now, the pics will be getting worse. Before I show you those, here is a picture of the classiest of them all, Chaney.

hahahaha

There we go, now if that doesn’t get you in the Christmas spirit what will. If you watch American Horror Story, I’ll give you a few minutes to clean up after yourselves before I continue…

…..

……

….and we’re back. The drunker everyone got the funnier the night became. At the bar you would look over and see Santa’s shaking their shit on the dancefloor. Santa’s making out, Santa’s smoking cigarette’s, Santa’s throwing up. If a little kid saw this, they would be damaged for life.

Girls got dirty..

Told you the pictures were going to get worse..Wait till you see this next one.

Holy, Santa's Shitfaced

What tops a pic like that? A comment from his mom saying “It’s a good thing you’re not driving a sled!” on the Facebook picture.

Overall, Santacon was excellent. Mission accomplished.

Merry Christmas!

Did you go to Santacon? 

 

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Liquored Nights

I’m not a believer in the whole “beer before liquor never been sicker” and “liquor before beer and your in the clear” garbage. However, I am a little bitch when it comes to anything Tequila related.

So I decided, let me take you through the motions of what these bad boys do to me.

Vodka 

Vodka is by far my favorite liquor. We have an excellent relationship with each other. Like any relationship, we have had our up’s and down’s. Vodka got me through a tough time when I couldn’t stand the taste of beer due to a horribly drunken night. (That sounds insane but its the truth.)

Some GooseBall in the Hotel

The famous bottle from the debut Throwback story

I’m not one of those people who discriminant Vodkas. My only preference is anything but Popov and Georgi.

A quick Vodka related story – Freshman year of college some of the girls would play a little game called “SHOTS!”. Take 5 seconds to try to imagine how to play the game. Ready? Okay, basically they sat around going about their daily routine and when 1 of the girls screamed “SHOT!” they took shots. I walked in the room during this game and it looked like a war zone. The three of them were beyond drunk, one had the balls to yell SHOT! and they still tried to take the shot. Make a long story short, one girl had to go to the hospital, the other girl fell off her bed in the middle of the night and woke up with her head in the garbage, and the other girl was fine.

I will keep these three classy ladies nameless.

Moving on from Vodka, lets dabble with Whiskey.

I’ve had my period of time when Jack  was my go to liquor. Shots of Jack, Jack and Coke, Jack and Ginger, these were all my favorite drinks. I enjoyed it but it was a known fact that whenever I was going out, I would be blacking out and waking up the next morning scared as to what I did the night before. It was a vicious cycle. It was summer 2010 that I was knee deep in my Jack Daniels phase. I can attest to that fact that every night I went out that summer, I blacked out. Not one of my finer moments but what are you going to do?

A quick Whiskey related story – When I was 20, a group of us went to Montreal for New Years Eve.  After what felt like the longest drive of my life, we got there and wanted to start drinking right away. The hotel we stayed at gave us 2 free drink vouchers so we instantly went to work. Of course, still being  in my Jack phase, I wanted a Jack and coke, or whatever would be closest to it. I basically nibbled on some whack ass sandwich and we headed to the liquor store to get stocked up for that weekend. After a nice Jack pregame we all headed out to a bar crawl in Montreal. About 6 of us decided we would buy each other rounds of shots. After 5 rounds of Jack shots, I was pretty close to death but we still had 1 more round left and I wasn’t passing up on the free shot. My socially inept friend ordered the round of Jack but didn’t ask the bartender to chill it first. I shot back a piss warm shot of Jack and basically said hello to my downfall. As I was walking by the bouncer I threw up on the floor next to him. We got kicked out of that bar so we decided to go to another bar. (I had no business going anywhere but home) Once we got in the other bar I decided to puke in the bathroom, lay there by the toilet for awhile and basically had to have my friend pick me up and end the night.

Moral of the story – Chill the Jack first, asshole.

This picture was taken at the bar before it all happened

If you can't tell this is after the fact

Finally my least favorite of  ’em all…Tequila.

I have always hated Tequila. I envy people who love Tequila and can do shot after shot of it. The people that can do a Tequila shot without the salt, lime, and constipated face after might even have super human powers. I really have tried my best to like Tequila, hell I even tried to just build somewhat of a tolerance for it, but it never works. One shot of Tequila is okay, but two or more shots and i’m fucked. I get violent, and puking is 100% going to happen. My hangovers the next day are out of this world.

Here’s a little Tequila story for you – Christmas night I have sort of a tradition with my friend Shannon. I would go over to her uncles house after I left my family for Christmas and her Christmas would be winding down. Shannon, her uncle and I would get absolutely bombed. This one year Uncle  decided to show us how to do Tequila poppers. Basically you fill a shot glass with Tequila about 90% and put a drop of Ginger Ale in them and cover the top, slam it on the counter and take the shot while it fizzed. We did so many of these that we were all so drunk  that baby Jesus’ birthday was an afterthought. Uncle’s family had been woken up by the constant slamming of shot glasses on the  granite counter top and it was time to end the night. My favorite part of the night was that this was all being done in one of the funniest looking sweaters I think someone ever got as a gift. Shannon’s mom got her this sweater for Christmas and it till this day cracks me up thinking about it. Back to the story…I ended up being so drunk that I had to be driven home by Shannon’s dad and her uncle had to drive my car behind Shannon’s dad so that my car would be home. My parents watched the whole thing through their window and then I decided to violently puke when I got home. Merry Christmas.

She even had an ugly Christmas sweater party at college and wore it

What is your favorite liquor?


Friday Eve – Throwback (Kinda)

So since the weekend is slowly approaching,  I decided I would make Thursday the weekend pregame around here. I will tell you a past, yet amazing throwback story.

This one isn’t that much of a throwback because it happened in July but it feels like forever ago.

My friend Chaney, John, Giancarlo (very italian), Amanda (See puking video below) Nicole, and myself decided we were going to pregame at Nicole’s apartment and then go out in the city. If anyone who reads this lives by New York City, you will remember the weather that night like it was yesterday. The night was hands down the hottest, most humid night over the summer, and the diva Nicole decided we HAD to get a table at a rooftop lounge in the city. Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am no stranger to sweating (I’m talking a strip of deodorant on my forehead before a job interview type of sweating). So naturally city rooftop lounge, liquor, and button down’s on the hottest, most humid night of the year sounds pretty wet.

After a heavy pregame, we decided it was time for the city. As soon we walked outside it was sweating season. In order to avoid the long obnoxious line we decided we would pay like 120 each person and get a table with bottle service. BAD IDEA. We get to the top of the roof, drenched in sweat and basically just drink and spray ourselves with one of those old school water bottle/fan things. Yes, it was that hot out, even a high end club put those comical little contraptions on the table. Naturally, at the end of the night one of the girls took it home with her.

My friends and I have this weird little routine that we seem to get into a lot. We drink too much, leap across the point of no return and basically will be out in social setting so drunk that we can’t speak, we just look at each other not saying anything. So the 6 of us are at that point, and the waitress comes over asking if we would like anything else. Of course, me being the obnoxious one of the group makes a declaration that “I want to black out tonight! We’ll take another bottle!”. Keep in mind, we were all already blacked out and that line was one of the first things uttered in about 15 minutes. The waitress came back with a fresh bottle of vodka and reality set in. We didn’t want this bottle at all. Tried returning it, got laughed at…asked for the cap, got laughed at, saw the bill, had a heart attack. Bill was over 700 dollars, and since we had this bottle already, we weren’t leaving it there. The girls made a makeshift cap from a hair tie and gum wrapper, threw it in the bag and called it a day.

Naturally, had to sign it

Next morning, I woke up with 4 missed calls and 3 texts from my bank, my credit card had been charged like 5 times for 400 dollars, reported it fraud, because I may have been drunk, but i’m never THAT drunk. Make a long story short, vodka was on them.

Thank you, its the least they could do for ruining my shirt that night.

Do you have any insane night out stories? Let me know..