Tag Archives: Liquor

I’m Baaaaaack

I bet you never thought you would be reading this bad boy again. Well, you were right….and then I got bored. After a pretty long hiatus, i’ve decided to brush the dust off my soapbox and start spewing the random shit I like to throw out there again.

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote on this site…some enjoyable, some not so much, some ridiculous, some you can’t miss.

1. I actually have a real job now.
-So long are the days where I would sit at my dads office, pretending to be hard at work. Meanwhile all I did was gchat, tweet, Facebook, and recount my drunken antics for all to read. Lets face it, I was fired every other week, and from the posts I would write, it was obvious I didn’t do much of anything.

2. My hangovers are no longer full day affairs.
-Remember those days when opening both eyes at the same time so you can delete those late night text messages seemed like a chore? That was the least of my problems. I now go to the gym, and nothing says your fucked more than having to run and lift while sweating out vodka from the night before while convincing your trainer that you actually sweat that much on a regular basis.

3. I eat healthy now.
-You read that one correctly. I eat healthy now. (Pause for laughter) I’ve been on a health kick after my birthday. It was time for me to switch something up…however I can promise you, old habits 100% die hard. Its at the point where every time I drink I found the nearest pizza place at 4am and get 2 penne vodka slices….diet food, bro.

Now, did this post have you piss your pants? No. You will though, be patient. This was my way of letting you all know that I’m back, and I have tons of shit to say. I’m going to switch it up though, it won’t be all about drinking stories (even though those are the best) I’ll let you know about what common things just irritate the hell out of me, quality beats you don’t want to miss, the most ridiculous tinder convos of the week, and whatever else i’m thinking….let’s not lie, you know you missed me.

and i'm back

aaand I’m back

Oh, and in case you were wondering…#GIG is still kicking.

 


I’m back..with a lot to say

It feels weird writing on this bad boy again, but I promise I have a legit reason as to why I have been MIA lately. I’m the asshole who gets blacked out drunk and wakes up with a concussion. Honestly, if someone held a gun to my head and asked me to tell them how it happened or they would shoot…well 1. that would be pretty aggressive on their part and 2. I would be dead. Thank you Everclear jello shots.

Let’s try to recap whatever part of last weekend I can rememebr. 

Last Saturday we all went to Closs’ on Long Island for a Christmas Party. Closs got very into the Christmas spirit, she decorated her house. she made Christmas drinks, hell she even made her Christmas shots with Everclear. The night was off to a great start, we were playing drinking games, picked our secret santa’s, continued playing drinking games and eventually went out. Sounds like a fun night right? However, from the initial hug’s hello until the time I hit my head, something went south.

I’m the asshole who didn’t realize that the Christmas shot’s were made with Everclear until the 5th one. I thought she may have had a heavy hand while pouring in the Vodka because after taking the jello shot you were burning inside. Then on to  the game, we played a game called “Shot Roulette”  which basically was take shot after shot after shot. I think I may have blacked out at the house before we went to the bar, because it’s starting to get blurry and I’m not even in the cab yet.

Once we got to the bar I can’t even tell you what happened, who I spoke to, what I spoke about or anything. The comical part about this is that I still don’t really mind that I was at that point. Is that Rock Bottom?

Here’s the kicker in this whole situation though. I am an organized drunk. I was blacked out, slammed my head into something that left me with a light concussion..but I woke up Sunday morning opended my back pack and saw my phone, my wallet, and my clothes folded. How many times  can you say that happened to you?

Sunday morning was terrible, I didn’t even really know I hit my head yet until someone reminded me and when I went to feel for a bump, my whole left side of my head was sore to the touch. I figured I was having a horrible hangover but it was much worse. The headache was pounding, like someone was constantly kicking me in the head, and I wanted to puke all day.

______________________

Here’s why I was gone for a full week…I went to the Doctor on Monday morning and he told me I had a light concussion, he basically said don’t watch TV, stay off the computer, don’t even think if you don’t have to. I heard that bad boy and I ran with it. I worked a total of a day 1/2 last week. Granted, it did really suck though, I had a splitting headache all day, when I tried to rebel and watch TV or go on my computer I would get sick to my stomach. Whether or not I felt better, I was 100% still going to Santacon.

Saturday 12/10/11 – Santacon. 

I’ve been waiting for Santacon since last December, so I didn’t give a shit if I needed to wrap my head up and put myself in a bubble I was going to drink heavily. Luckily, by Saturday I felt fine. We all went to White Plains in the morning, exchanged our gifts in our Santa Suits and then headed to the city for Santacon. Santacon was everything you can imagine. The streets were filled with Santas, it was almost like anything goes in the city that day. If you weren’t dressed in a Santa or Christmas related outfit, you stood out like a sore thumb.

South St. Seaport

That’s just some of the shit you would see that day. It was awesome though, drinking in public was basically no big deal, certainly not frowned upon. As we were walking to the next bar we saw a Santa with an old school boom box so we figured, we had to shake our shit.

Killin it

Believe it or not, mad people were dancing..not just us 2

We ended up going back to this bar we stopped to pee at earlier in the day. The best part was that we ended up going to a back room that no one would went into, and basically had the bar and room to ourself in the beginning. Some girls came in the room and since the bartender wasn’t there they decided to help themselves. Ladies were badass, literally behind the counter pouring themselves beer.

John, myself, Spads & Chaney

This was more towards the start of the day. Let me tell you right now, the pics will be getting worse. Before I show you those, here is a picture of the classiest of them all, Chaney.

hahahaha

There we go, now if that doesn’t get you in the Christmas spirit what will. If you watch American Horror Story, I’ll give you a few minutes to clean up after yourselves before I continue…

…..

……

….and we’re back. The drunker everyone got the funnier the night became. At the bar you would look over and see Santa’s shaking their shit on the dancefloor. Santa’s making out, Santa’s smoking cigarette’s, Santa’s throwing up. If a little kid saw this, they would be damaged for life.

Girls got dirty..

Told you the pictures were going to get worse..Wait till you see this next one.

Holy, Santa's Shitfaced

What tops a pic like that? A comment from his mom saying “It’s a good thing you’re not driving a sled!” on the Facebook picture.

Overall, Santacon was excellent. Mission accomplished.

Merry Christmas!

Did you go to Santacon? 

 


New Spin on the Spotlight.

When you read the Spotlight do you ever think to yourself “damn, that’s me” or “my friend does the same exact shit”..well if you do, I want to hear it! 

Starting next Wednesday I will be expanding the Spotlight to everyone.

Email me at hangoverbible@gmail.com and give me a picture and a brief description and I will add them to the Spotlight. (You can keep their names or change their names, whatever you want)

Have it submitted by 11:59 Tuesday Night.  

Today’s Spotlight’s are Knots & Spads.

Both those nicknames sound like something an annoying kid would name their dog right?

First up, Knots.

Pain in the ass on the bed..

Knot’s is a full blown pain in the ass. Not a heavy drinker at all, more like an extreme lightweight. When she is drunk she has no rules and gets destructive. First thing to go is her volume control. She will basically talk to you in screaming form. Second thing to go would have to be her manners, she cut’s deep with her insults. A funny joke we all say about Knot’s is that she can take it and she most definitely can dish it. I know that was reversed but that is usually how it goes with her. Everyone will be joking around with and she will smile and laugh and bottle it up and when you are least expecting it, BOOOOOM…she hits you with an insult that makes you want to crawl in a ball. Touche Knotto.

Prime Memory of Lenknotto – We were all little Freshmen in college and we thought we were awesome. We went to LI to go out by Closs for the night. We had a pretty decent sized group and we were having a lot of fun. Ms. Knot’s got the drunkest, the quickest, and decided she was going to annoy the shit out of everyone for the rest of the night. First, she interrupted everyone’s pool game. Second, she started making jabs at the other girls, and finally, she decided to take a little red straw from the bar, light it on fire and proceed to blow it in my face. I let her do it for about 5 times and finally I decided to take the straw, put it in the fire and gently tap the skin on her hand. You would think I soaked her in gasoline, picked her up and threw her into a fire. She was threatening to sue, she was going to have me killed. You name it, I was going to experience it.

All in all, Knot’s is hilarious and I love her. Sure, she can be a pain in the ass, but every group needs one right? 

She was an animal at Deadmau5

 

And now..Spads 

bro'd out at Deadmau5

This guy will most definitely throw up the next morning. He is so nonchalant about it, its actually comical. “Hey Spads, what are you doing?” “Oh, i’ll be right back I need to puke”. It’s that simple, and its that non discreet. Spads is tied with Amanda on how loud one can actually be while throwing up. If there is one thing I can say about Spad’s that would keep it short and simple, yet speak volumes would have to be the word Woodjobs. I will never say anything else about it. He truly is Ellll Matadorrr (say it in a Spanish accent, roll your L’s and R’s)

Prime memory of Spads – Senior year of college, it was a Friday afternoon in April and we started day drinking. We were outside on my back porch, laughing, yelling and being loud. Someone’s pocket pussy got ripped apart and actually thrown on the side of the house. Next thing we know, a cop walks in the backyard and tells us to keep it down “You can’t be yelling shit like pocket pussy!”. We all stopped with the PP talk but continued to drink. We came up with this great idea to go to one of the girls houses and piss them off. Spads had an idea to slam dunk on their beer pong table. The group of us stumbled to the girls house, awkwardly sat around and then started a fake game of beer pong. All of a sudden a half Mexican went soaring through the air and split the girls table in half. When I tell you this was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life, i’m not kidding. I actually was on the floor in pain from laughing so hard and I pissed my pants.

I love you Spads.

The aftermath of that table..

 

Thats the Spotlight for this week folks. I’m looking forward to seeing your suggestions.

Follow me on twitter @getitant

 

 


Ice Ice Baby

Before I start my post for the day I would like to wish a very Happy Birthday to the big bad Bull! Bull is the oldest of our friends, hitting the big bad 24 mark is a steep one. She’s that much closer to 25, which means she’s half way to 30, while the rest of us are still soaking up 23 for a while. We laugh now, but when she was the only one who was 21 and could get kegs, she was pretty famous. Well we had options of course, it was either the Bull or one of her roommate’s 35 year old boyfriend. (I’m not joking)

Happy Birthday Bull!

That picture brings up today’s post. Summer 2011 and the Icing’s that took place. My friend Paul and I literally drove around town on random nights that we were bored and Ice’d people. If you don’t know what it means to be “Ice’d” let me sum it up for you. You hide a Smirnoff Ice and when the person see’s it they have to get down on 1 knee and chug it. That’s how people play, however I did whatever the hell I wanted. Here we go..

Co-Icer got ice'd

It was only appropriate that the person I ice’d with got ice’d. His ice was simple, I called him up, put it by his tire, he came outside, saw it and chugged it.

Now we can get into some Ice’s that I especially enjoyed.

Got my Dad

Got my MomGot my brother

Got my cousin, Mike

and my cousin, Jenna

Clearly, after seeing those 5 pictures it’s obvious that absolutely no one was off limits. It wasn’t just friends, it was also a family affair. 4 out of the 5 of those pictures were taken at the same family barbecue. Sometimes it’s just that damn easy.

A lot of double Ice’s were given out.

Paul and Genie

These two thinkin' their awesome with the pose

Girl on Girl Ice's

I loved the idea of a Double Ice. Not only did I get you, I got your friend too. I would like to make a note..the second picture in the Double Ice section was one of the most annoying/dramatic pictures taken in the ice album. The blonde, Cait had nothing to do with it, Nicole on the left, made me take about 4 pictures, breaking every rule I had for the damn Ice’ings.

Having people come out of the house completely unaware of anything going on was always a fun one.

Pulled JC right out of his girlfriends house

Made Tyler stop packing for Florida to come outside

Had Shan's Uncle stop prepping for his child's Communion Party to get Ice'd

Kristin has an awesome view, so we had to Ice her

Walked right into Higgs house for this one

Angelo wasn't expecting this at all

Fellow Blogger, 'Steph Snacks' even got it. Read her blog StephSnacks.com (it's really good)

Clearly by these pictures these people had no clue whatsoever that this was coming. Paul and I had people getting ready for bed, getting ready for the shower, and whatever the hell else they were doing.

If you came to my house over the summer, all bets were off, you should have 100% had your guard up.

If you came for a pregame, you got ice'd

If you came over to swim, you got ice'd

If you came over to chill, you got ice'd

Stopped by after work? You got Ice'd

 

Even iced JZ

I even got the neighbors

Anyone near, or around my property got iced. I never had to worry about running out, I basically had stock of Smirnoff this summer.

Killed 2 birds with 1 stone with this Ice'ing

Bri was the first, got Joe second

I still laugh after seeing these two pictures. I had two people meet me at seperate times in a parking lot so that I can Ice them.

I did work in Ocean City.

Woke Tara up out of a nap to get her

John spent the whole trip blacked out drunk so I doubt the Ice'ing mattered

After 7 hours of traffic in a car with Pete, the least I can do was Ice him

Of course Jill was going to get Ice'd

Ocean City was a success. I ice’d the shit out of people on that trip. Only downside to it was that every time we went to pick up beer or liquor I had to stop at the 711 and get Smirnoff Ice.

The trip to the beach was another great Ice’ing day.

Had to pull over so that we can Ice this one

Chaney was an Ice'ing victim too many times

Staten Island Sil

Even pain in the ass Knot's got Ice'd

The beach Ice’ings were a lot of fun. We had Ice’s in peoples pockets, in Can Jam, on the boat. The Ice’s started off cold but by the end of the day they were piss warm. Should have got ice’d first not last. For the record, I would like to point out that Amanda’s Ice’ing was right outside of 711, families were watching her, cars passing her on the road watched her, and she slammed her teeth with it at first. Honestly, never a dull moment.

And Finally, if it didn’t happen, I would consider myself a huge tool.

I got Ice'd..

That was my second time getting Ice’d that summer. Will is holding me up because I almost fell on my face while doing it.

Smirnoff should have sent me something for the amount of money I spent on those damn things this summer. It was a lot of fun though.

Have you ever been Ice’d?


Liquored Nights

I’m not a believer in the whole “beer before liquor never been sicker” and “liquor before beer and your in the clear” garbage. However, I am a little bitch when it comes to anything Tequila related.

So I decided, let me take you through the motions of what these bad boys do to me.

Vodka 

Vodka is by far my favorite liquor. We have an excellent relationship with each other. Like any relationship, we have had our up’s and down’s. Vodka got me through a tough time when I couldn’t stand the taste of beer due to a horribly drunken night. (That sounds insane but its the truth.)

Some GooseBall in the Hotel

The famous bottle from the debut Throwback story

I’m not one of those people who discriminant Vodkas. My only preference is anything but Popov and Georgi.

A quick Vodka related story – Freshman year of college some of the girls would play a little game called “SHOTS!”. Take 5 seconds to try to imagine how to play the game. Ready? Okay, basically they sat around going about their daily routine and when 1 of the girls screamed “SHOT!” they took shots. I walked in the room during this game and it looked like a war zone. The three of them were beyond drunk, one had the balls to yell SHOT! and they still tried to take the shot. Make a long story short, one girl had to go to the hospital, the other girl fell off her bed in the middle of the night and woke up with her head in the garbage, and the other girl was fine.

I will keep these three classy ladies nameless.

Moving on from Vodka, lets dabble with Whiskey.

I’ve had my period of time when Jack  was my go to liquor. Shots of Jack, Jack and Coke, Jack and Ginger, these were all my favorite drinks. I enjoyed it but it was a known fact that whenever I was going out, I would be blacking out and waking up the next morning scared as to what I did the night before. It was a vicious cycle. It was summer 2010 that I was knee deep in my Jack Daniels phase. I can attest to that fact that every night I went out that summer, I blacked out. Not one of my finer moments but what are you going to do?

A quick Whiskey related story – When I was 20, a group of us went to Montreal for New Years Eve.  After what felt like the longest drive of my life, we got there and wanted to start drinking right away. The hotel we stayed at gave us 2 free drink vouchers so we instantly went to work. Of course, still being  in my Jack phase, I wanted a Jack and coke, or whatever would be closest to it. I basically nibbled on some whack ass sandwich and we headed to the liquor store to get stocked up for that weekend. After a nice Jack pregame we all headed out to a bar crawl in Montreal. About 6 of us decided we would buy each other rounds of shots. After 5 rounds of Jack shots, I was pretty close to death but we still had 1 more round left and I wasn’t passing up on the free shot. My socially inept friend ordered the round of Jack but didn’t ask the bartender to chill it first. I shot back a piss warm shot of Jack and basically said hello to my downfall. As I was walking by the bouncer I threw up on the floor next to him. We got kicked out of that bar so we decided to go to another bar. (I had no business going anywhere but home) Once we got in the other bar I decided to puke in the bathroom, lay there by the toilet for awhile and basically had to have my friend pick me up and end the night.

Moral of the story – Chill the Jack first, asshole.

This picture was taken at the bar before it all happened

If you can't tell this is after the fact

Finally my least favorite of  ’em all…Tequila.

I have always hated Tequila. I envy people who love Tequila and can do shot after shot of it. The people that can do a Tequila shot without the salt, lime, and constipated face after might even have super human powers. I really have tried my best to like Tequila, hell I even tried to just build somewhat of a tolerance for it, but it never works. One shot of Tequila is okay, but two or more shots and i’m fucked. I get violent, and puking is 100% going to happen. My hangovers the next day are out of this world.

Here’s a little Tequila story for you – Christmas night I have sort of a tradition with my friend Shannon. I would go over to her uncles house after I left my family for Christmas and her Christmas would be winding down. Shannon, her uncle and I would get absolutely bombed. This one year Uncle  decided to show us how to do Tequila poppers. Basically you fill a shot glass with Tequila about 90% and put a drop of Ginger Ale in them and cover the top, slam it on the counter and take the shot while it fizzed. We did so many of these that we were all so drunk  that baby Jesus’ birthday was an afterthought. Uncle’s family had been woken up by the constant slamming of shot glasses on the  granite counter top and it was time to end the night. My favorite part of the night was that this was all being done in one of the funniest looking sweaters I think someone ever got as a gift. Shannon’s mom got her this sweater for Christmas and it till this day cracks me up thinking about it. Back to the story…I ended up being so drunk that I had to be driven home by Shannon’s dad and her uncle had to drive my car behind Shannon’s dad so that my car would be home. My parents watched the whole thing through their window and then I decided to violently puke when I got home. Merry Christmas.

She even had an ugly Christmas sweater party at college and wore it

What is your favorite liquor?


The People You See Out

You ever have those nights when you go out and get way too drunk? You wake up the next morning with a splitting headache, ready to puke, asking yourself why you did that last night? This happens to me far too often. I’m not much of a drunk texter/drunk dialer but the occasional slip-up does happen. I have fallen victim too many times to waking up the next morning piecing my night together. I love those nights with the random brown out’s but those nights where half  of your night is a blur is a bitch to wake up to. What I like to do to make myself feel better is, simply turn to my phone and just delete every text message and all my calls. The way I look at it is, If I don’t see or remember it, it never happened.

Happens

Sometime’s its that easy to act like it never happened, but many of us know the ” Play by Play Person“. I’ll admit, if something hilarious happens the night before it’s fine to tell me about it the next morning. I’m not talking about those people. I’m talking about the people who act like it’s their job to scare the shit out of you the next morning with what you did last night. Almost like they didn’t even drink at all that night, they were working, taking notes on you, so they can let you know everything you did the night before. It’s sad to say but I know a lot of these people, and if right now you are reading this and thinking “Shit, I think he’s talking about me” I might just be.

The Play by Play Person is worse than the “Random Picture Girl” any day. The random picture girl is the one who will just whip the camera out and take a picture of you sneezing because she thinks its necessary. The best is when you ask the Random Picture Girl to take a picture of you and your friends and she refuses because she only likes “candids”. Everyone’s a photographer now a days…my ass.

These next two people are true pains in my ass. The “I don’t drink because of family issues Person” and the “Random Kid from High School“. I understand not everyone drinks, but please don’t come out and make the faces because were all having a great time and you aren’t drinking because your sisters boyfriends dog trainers neighbor had a drinking problem. Stay home, or leave the faces you make when we take a shot home. The Random kid from High School is a hit or miss, you’re either really excited that you ran into them or really annoyed because they might be a clinger for the night. The”Girl Everyone Hooked Up With” usually makes an appearance out at the bars, makes it awkward for a few minutes but then no one really cares. Finally, the person I love running into when I go out is hands down the “Guy Who’s Buying the Shots“. We all know him and we all love him. Whether he comes out with you or you run into him, you know he’s going to make your night 10x better.

Courtesy of the shot guy

There are ton’s of people you run into when you go out, but I had to cut the list somewhere..right?

Do you fit in any of these categories? Tell me some more…

PS – Weekend is finally here..I hope everyone is at their dirtiest

#JustAnotherGIGweekend