Tag Archives: Fun

I’m Baaaaaack

I bet you never thought you would be reading this bad boy again. Well, you were right….and then I got bored. After a pretty long hiatus, i’ve decided to brush the dust off my soapbox and start spewing the random shit I like to throw out there again.

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote on this site…some enjoyable, some not so much, some ridiculous, some you can’t miss.

1. I actually have a real job now.
-So long are the days where I would sit at my dads office, pretending to be hard at work. Meanwhile all I did was gchat, tweet, Facebook, and recount my drunken antics for all to read. Lets face it, I was fired every other week, and from the posts I would write, it was obvious I didn’t do much of anything.

2. My hangovers are no longer full day affairs.
-Remember those days when opening both eyes at the same time so you can delete those late night text messages seemed like a chore? That was the least of my problems. I now go to the gym, and nothing says your fucked more than having to run and lift while sweating out vodka from the night before while convincing your trainer that you actually sweat that much on a regular basis.

3. I eat healthy now.
-You read that one correctly. I eat healthy now. (Pause for laughter) I’ve been on a health kick after my birthday. It was time for me to switch something up…however I can promise you, old habits 100% die hard. Its at the point where every time I drink I found the nearest pizza place at 4am and get 2 penne vodka slices….diet food, bro.

Now, did this post have you piss your pants? No. You will though, be patient. This was my way of letting you all know that I’m back, and I have tons of shit to say. I’m going to switch it up though, it won’t be all about drinking stories (even though those are the best) I’ll let you know about what common things just irritate the hell out of me, quality beats you don’t want to miss, the most ridiculous tinder convos of the week, and whatever else i’m thinking….let’s not lie, you know you missed me.

and i'm back

aaand I’m back

Oh, and in case you were wondering…#GIG is still kicking.

 

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New Spin on the Spotlight.

When you read the Spotlight do you ever think to yourself “damn, that’s me” or “my friend does the same exact shit”..well if you do, I want to hear it! 

Starting next Wednesday I will be expanding the Spotlight to everyone.

Email me at hangoverbible@gmail.com and give me a picture and a brief description and I will add them to the Spotlight. (You can keep their names or change their names, whatever you want)

Have it submitted by 11:59 Tuesday Night.  

Today’s Spotlight’s are Knots & Spads.

Both those nicknames sound like something an annoying kid would name their dog right?

First up, Knots.

Pain in the ass on the bed..

Knot’s is a full blown pain in the ass. Not a heavy drinker at all, more like an extreme lightweight. When she is drunk she has no rules and gets destructive. First thing to go is her volume control. She will basically talk to you in screaming form. Second thing to go would have to be her manners, she cut’s deep with her insults. A funny joke we all say about Knot’s is that she can take it and she most definitely can dish it. I know that was reversed but that is usually how it goes with her. Everyone will be joking around with and she will smile and laugh and bottle it up and when you are least expecting it, BOOOOOM…she hits you with an insult that makes you want to crawl in a ball. Touche Knotto.

Prime Memory of Lenknotto – We were all little Freshmen in college and we thought we were awesome. We went to LI to go out by Closs for the night. We had a pretty decent sized group and we were having a lot of fun. Ms. Knot’s got the drunkest, the quickest, and decided she was going to annoy the shit out of everyone for the rest of the night. First, she interrupted everyone’s pool game. Second, she started making jabs at the other girls, and finally, she decided to take a little red straw from the bar, light it on fire and proceed to blow it in my face. I let her do it for about 5 times and finally I decided to take the straw, put it in the fire and gently tap the skin on her hand. You would think I soaked her in gasoline, picked her up and threw her into a fire. She was threatening to sue, she was going to have me killed. You name it, I was going to experience it.

All in all, Knot’s is hilarious and I love her. Sure, she can be a pain in the ass, but every group needs one right? 

She was an animal at Deadmau5

 

And now..Spads 

bro'd out at Deadmau5

This guy will most definitely throw up the next morning. He is so nonchalant about it, its actually comical. “Hey Spads, what are you doing?” “Oh, i’ll be right back I need to puke”. It’s that simple, and its that non discreet. Spads is tied with Amanda on how loud one can actually be while throwing up. If there is one thing I can say about Spad’s that would keep it short and simple, yet speak volumes would have to be the word Woodjobs. I will never say anything else about it. He truly is Ellll Matadorrr (say it in a Spanish accent, roll your L’s and R’s)

Prime memory of Spads – Senior year of college, it was a Friday afternoon in April and we started day drinking. We were outside on my back porch, laughing, yelling and being loud. Someone’s pocket pussy got ripped apart and actually thrown on the side of the house. Next thing we know, a cop walks in the backyard and tells us to keep it down “You can’t be yelling shit like pocket pussy!”. We all stopped with the PP talk but continued to drink. We came up with this great idea to go to one of the girls houses and piss them off. Spads had an idea to slam dunk on their beer pong table. The group of us stumbled to the girls house, awkwardly sat around and then started a fake game of beer pong. All of a sudden a half Mexican went soaring through the air and split the girls table in half. When I tell you this was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life, i’m not kidding. I actually was on the floor in pain from laughing so hard and I pissed my pants.

I love you Spads.

The aftermath of that table..

 

Thats the Spotlight for this week folks. I’m looking forward to seeing your suggestions.

Follow me on twitter @getitant

 

 


One big ass Recap – Birthday’s and Black Out’s

Alright everyone, this will be a long one because we are covering Thanksgiving Eve through the weekend. In case you haven’t picked up on it yet, I don’t post on the weekends, Hangoverbible is strictly a Monday-Friday job. Weekends are spent “On Assignment”.

Enough with the foreplay..lets get dirty..

Wednesday Night – Thanksgiving Eve

Personally, I think Thanksgiving Eve isn’t the night to venture off somewhere. I think it’s fun to go out locally, get pretty disorderly and run into people you haven’t seen in awhile at the bars. That was exactly what I did. Nothing out of the norm that night. We started with a pregame at Derek’s apartment, went to the bar’s, waited on some lines. Spent a lot of money and that was it. Pretty standard Thanksgiving Eve. It wasn’t until I stopped for pizza, tried to go to another bar, then tried to go home, then tried to go to another bar, and finally noticed my brother driving home that the night went from 0 to 60. I basically got in the car pretty drunk and decided to yell and go on a drunken rant about cheap people and how I can’t stand them for the whole ride home. I kept going at McDonald’s, threw my fries all over the car, lost my burger somewhere and fell asleep. When we got home I decided to keep yelling, woke the whole family up and woke up the next morning with my laptop thrown, and my glasses crushed. It’s safe to say, I am a violent sleeper.

Thursday – Thanksgiving Day

It’s hard to pretend we’re all a peachy happy family when I had everyone up at 4 am to listen to my drunken rant. Since I hardly remembered it, I really don’t count it. My older brother was especially pissed because my drunken rant targeted his one specific friend. However, like I have stated in a previous post, if I don’t remember it, it didn’t happen. My Thanksgiving was spent eating and getting sick from all the wine. How was yours? 

Birthday’s and Black Out’s – Friday & Saturday 

Friday –

I basically lived in White Plains this weekend. Friday night Paul’s sister Michelle took us all to White Plains for her boyfriend George’s birthday. We started at a dinner and went to the bars after. At dinner a few great things happended. Somehow the topic of “Muff Diving” came up. Someone who I will leave nameless (It wasn’t a guy, and it wasn’t Michelle)  made a comment that was one for the books. “I don’t know how you guys go under the Muff”. Unexpected? Yes..Hilarious? You know it. Our table was pissed off because we clearly missed the BYOBaby policy at the bar. At around 11ish, the group next to us revealed that attached to the guy’s chest was a baby. Seeing a baby in a packed bar with music blasting is a sight very few get to see and I am damn proud I saw him. At the rate that baby is going, I can without a doubt see him on Jersey Shore Season 15. Another quote I have from Friday night is “Slap on a dick”. I really have no clue what that was from. I just have it on a memo in my phone saying “post on blog” . Overall the night was really fun, Terasita was ordering “Fun Shots”, we ventured off to the upstairs at Elements for a quick trip to Spain and then I got lost at the Hudson Grille.

Baby taking a rest from dancing

T's fun shots..

Saturday – 

Continuing the Birthday’s and Black Out’s theme I was originally supposed to go to the City. After basically everyone bailed on me I ended up going to another birthday in White Plains. We went to Thirsty Turtle, not gonna lie, last time I went there I was still in college, but it was fun as hell. Drod decided to buy 20 shots which is never a bad thing. She also debuted a new dance move which was very similiar to happy feet, again..never a bad thing. On the away home from White Plains I made another proclamation that I am changing my moving plans to White Plains, again. Paul and I tried to recruit Higgins but he wasn’t feeling it. His loss. After we were dropped off at Pearl River the night took a turn for the outrageous. We went to 1 bar for a little, I don’t even remember the bar. So if I spoke to you, disregard it all. Paul and I decided to get pizza, the place was closed and Domino’s had 5 more minutes until they closed. We both ordered a pie each and hailed a cab. In the cab I stressed the importance of voting to the cab driver for the whole ride home. He was black, and I informed him that a black president like him wouldn’t be awful and he should run or try to make a difference. I was dancing pretty close to crossing the line that night. I gave him a slice of pizza, three bags of stolen chips and let him come inside to take a piss. After he pissed he sat at my kitchen table and we ate pissed as I kept stressing the importance of voting. Ladies and Gent’s eating pizza in your house at 4am with a cab driver and talking politics is called hitting rock bottom.

Happy Feet and her new friend

Higgs, Happy feet and their new friend

Genie sighting

Overall great weekend..I changed my moving plans again, talked republican politics with my cab driver, and spent way too much funny.

 

What did you do this weekend?