Tag Archives: Events

I’m Baaaaaack

I bet you never thought you would be reading this bad boy again. Well, you were right….and then I got bored. After a pretty long hiatus, i’ve decided to brush the dust off my soapbox and start spewing the random shit I like to throw out there again.

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote on this site…some enjoyable, some not so much, some ridiculous, some you can’t miss.

1. I actually have a real job now.
-So long are the days where I would sit at my dads office, pretending to be hard at work. Meanwhile all I did was gchat, tweet, Facebook, and recount my drunken antics for all to read. Lets face it, I was fired every other week, and from the posts I would write, it was obvious I didn’t do much of anything.

2. My hangovers are no longer full day affairs.
-Remember those days when opening both eyes at the same time so you can delete those late night text messages seemed like a chore? That was the least of my problems. I now go to the gym, and nothing says your fucked more than having to run and lift while sweating out vodka from the night before while convincing your trainer that you actually sweat that much on a regular basis.

3. I eat healthy now.
-You read that one correctly. I eat healthy now. (Pause for laughter) I’ve been on a health kick after my birthday. It was time for me to switch something up…however I can promise you, old habits 100% die hard. Its at the point where every time I drink I found the nearest pizza place at 4am and get 2 penne vodka slices….diet food, bro.

Now, did this post have you piss your pants? No. You will though, be patient. This was my way of letting you all know that I’m back, and I have tons of shit to say. I’m going to switch it up though, it won’t be all about drinking stories (even though those are the best) I’ll let you know about what common things just irritate the hell out of me, quality beats you don’t want to miss, the most ridiculous tinder convos of the week, and whatever else i’m thinking….let’s not lie, you know you missed me.

and i'm back

aaand I’m back

Oh, and in case you were wondering…#GIG is still kicking.

 

Advertisements

Dressing up just to get drunk

I have to admit, I love a good theme party, and with Christmas just around the corner, how many theme parties will you be attending? I’m sure everyone has the Ugly Sweater party to go to, or the Santa and his Hoe Hoe Hoe’s party. Think outside of the box though? Have you ever been to any out of the loop theme parties?

Here is a list of some of the memorable theme parties from the past. 

1. Strippers & Tippers, CEO’s & Corporate Hoe’s Parties. 

In High School those were all the rage. Actually any excuse for a girl to dress slutty and make a rhyme out of it just so happended to be something every girl wanted to do. Almost like a right of passage. Surfer Bro & Bikini Hoe, Football Bro & Cheerleader Hoe, Santa & His Hoe Hoe Hoe’s, the list can go on and on. **New Drinking Game Alert** Next time you are out, think of names that go with a group of friends, the friend that fucks it up takes a shot. (..and you say I don’t look out for you)

Problem with theme’s like those is that you can’t actually drink and party with strippers unless you are really tipping the hell out of them. They also usually bring a huge bodyguard with them or a small pimp with a gun. When you work in corporate America you will notice the CEO, but 98% of the women aka “corporate hoe’s” look like middle age’d, rundown, mothers that you don’t want dressed slutty.

2. The Highlighter Party 

That party was actually really fun. The girls of course got really into the theme with the way they set up the party and how they completely transformed their house. You walked in, they handed you highlighters, the whole house was turned to black lights, and they had white papers all over the walls. They basically allowed you to go crazy in their house. This was very out of the norm for the house the party was at because to put it nicely, one of the girls living their was as controlling as an abusive boyfriend. Word to the wise though on parties like these; just wear the plain white shirt, you aren’t a badass because you wore blue to the highlighter party.

Don't know why it's not blacklight

3. Candy Land /Neon Party

This was a pretty fun party. Basically the girls who lived at the house decided they wanted to throw a Candy Land party. You had to dress up in neon colors and that was it. They had candy land types of items all over the house. The people at the party were dressed so bright you could have had a migraine. The best part was the candy soaking in Vodka. It may have soaked a little too long because they were violent to eat. Just so happens this party was at Closs’ house at school. I’m starting to notice a little trend with Closs here..anyone else?

We rocked yellow

They rocked pink

4. The Fake theme party 

My personal favorite. One night we decided to call all our friends up and tell them we were having a black out party. All you had to do was wear black, and if you didn’t don’t expect to come in. Naturally, everyone called asking if this was a joke, and wanted to make sure everyone was dressing up. I assured them that they have nothing to worry about and that everyone will be dressed up. It was a great theme that no one thought of before..Emo. The first ever Emo theme party. Everyone started coming over our house dressed in black like a funeral just let out. Much to everyone’s surprise myself and my four roommates were dressed in the brightest color’s possible. Excellent idea. Sorry, don’t have a picture for this one.

5. White Trash Wedding

The Sorority at our school was known for throwing awesome parties. Thankfully, we knew a lot of girls in this Sorority so we got to go to all the parties. The best party I have ever went to that was a theme was the White Trash Wedding. They had a shit load of kegs, shots galore, a fake priest, a fake bride and groom, a fake bridal party, and we were all invited to the ceremony. The ceremony was hilarious; the priest was smoking a cigarette the whole time. We all had a champagne toast after the wedding and then started to aggressively drink. The best part about this wedding was that you HAD to get your outfit from the thrift shop. I rocked a creamsicle orange blazer, a bud light t-shirt and a whack ass tie. Best party ever.

A touch of class

Wow…I miss college.

What are some theme parties you’ve been to?


Ho Ho Holy Shit..the Spotlight addition

Christmas mayhem..what do you know about it? I’m not talking about buying a lot of gifts in one trip to the mall, or decorating your house to the point where you neighbors are praying a group of vandals come over and mess your shit up.

I’m talking about being that asshole in the family that somehow turns Christmas into a night of aggressively drink and getting jolly’ed out of your mind. Now, before you start thinking that I somehow turned into an angel overnight, please re-read the Christmas Tequila Popper Story. I have 100% been a victim of the drink too much on Christmas, puke in the bathroom, and get screamed at the next morning club. However, this post isn’t about me, I’m the one that gets to pass the judgement around here.

Buckle up folks, Santa’s about to take this bitch from 0-60. (I’m enjoying these Christmas puns)

Let’s talk about some drunken moments that have occurred on or around Jesus’ birthday, shall we?

First up, my cousin JD. 

Which one am I talking about?

Ahhhh cousins, nothing can go wrong on Christmas Eve when you’re with family right? I mean besides the fact that my brother and I pretended we were 5 again and decided to match like our mom dressed us. But that’s beside the point. Believe it or not , our drunken Christmas Eve comes from the only lady in the grouping. The one and only JD.

Now, don’t get me wrong, she didn’t do anything horrible that you can’t come back from. Believe it or not, she was actually very funny. Here’s her back story. This was her senior year of college, she was studying like a beast for finals so she decided on Christmas Eve to knock a few back and really relax. Turn’s out she ended up getting pretty drunk and her volume went from a 3 to a 10. Her cheeks turned pretty red and then in a light scream she declared “I HAVE AN ASIAN GLOW!”. Naturally everyone cracked up, but the kicker here was that if you looked to your left, there just so happened to be a family of Asians at the next table. After JD made that proclamation she ended up needing some help coming back from the bathroom. To be honest, she 100% made my Christmas Eve that year. I can’t wait until this year.

__________________________________________

Next up, a regular at the Hangover Bible Headquarters..the one and only, ever so classy, Chaney. 

I hope once you see that little blurb about him you’re thinking to yourself “what the hell did this kid do now”. If you are, I am very happy you are thinking that because let me tell you, I have video evidence for this one. Chaney on Christmas Eve 2009 got way too drunk at his aunt’s house. Now for those of you that don’t know Chaney, when he gets very drunk he does and says whatever he wants. Insults flying, drunken rambling coming out of his mouth, snoring as loud as he possibly can, passing out in closets, honestly you name it he has done it. That’s why this video is so great. Chaney got way too drunk, pulled it out and started peeing in his Aunt”s living room on Christmas Eve. Luckily for the world, his little sister got it on tape. The video is hilarious, his sisters reaction is priceless. The house is decorated for Christmas and Chaney is even dressed nicely in a sweater and Khaki’s, urinating inside of a house.

…and everyone worries about their drunken uncles on Christmas? 

Have you had any drunken encounters during the holidays? Thanksgiving doesn’t count…


Weekend Recap

I know i’m one of the thousands of people to say this on a Monday morning, but I seriously hate them. I can’t function at all, it just took me 3 attempts to type ‘best’  correctly on the computer.

Moving on, it’s the weekend recap. I get slack from a few people (Spanish & Sil) that the recap isn’t always as funny as they would like it to be, but 1. it’s Monday and 2. Can’t pretend funny shit happened when it didn’t.

Here we go…

Friday 

Friday night’s usually aren’t my favorite night to go out on. I’m kind of tired after the work week and I have no problem throwing in the towel if it won’t be worth it. I ended up going out to some bars by my house. Everytime I go out to this one place I usually hate it and i’m ready to leave after an hour. Luckily for me, it was a really good night. I personally don’t think 23 is old at all, but Friday night I kept looking around and everyone looked and seemed to be 18-19 tops. One of my weaknesses is that I never know what shot I want when i’m about to order it. Once the bartender got to me I ordered 5 shots, I didn’t know what kind to get so I looked back at a friend, and after taking terrible advice from that friend I made the big mistake of asking for just plain vodka. It tasted like warm rubbing alcohol and was just an expensive, garbage, idea.

Side note – The last time I ever willingly ordered a shot of just Vodka was when I was 17 and my roommate and I got into a bar by school and didn’t know what else to order. 6 years later and I do it again? Amateur Move…

Saturday 

Woke up Saturday morning with a hell of  a hangover. I have to admit, I didn’t see this one coming at all. It didn’t last that long though, so thank God for small miracles. If you feel nauseous in the morning and don’t want to pull the trigger, I found a remedy. Drink a glass of cold Milk. I did that and when I finished I felt 100% better. A few friends came over for the pregame, we played an intense game of Speed Quarters, I never played before and i’m pissed that I waited this long, the game is awesome. After a pretty impressive pregame we made our way to the bars. While at the bar I heard from like 5 people how they read and like my blog. So if you are one of those people reading this, you kinda just made your Hangoverbible debut. Naturally after hearing people loved the blog, I felt famous. I also am looking to move out, I saw a few places that I really liked, but my drunk self decided to let people know that I am moving and everyone is invited to the housewarming party. Once the shots started tasting like water it was time to go home.

Side note – A known joke about me is that whenever I go somewhere new with my friends, that night and the next morning I tell people I am moving to that place. So far I am moving to the City, Hoboken, Nyack, Long Beach, Hamptons, & Miami.

Sunday

Sunday is your standard hangover day for me. I’m dead in bed for the better part of the day, watch Football, eat, and HBO. Nothing too complex, right?

Strange side note – Didn’t leave the house at all yesterday.

Overall, very good weekend.

What did you do this weekend?


Who would you want to drink with?

Sorry I didn’t post yesterday, I was pretty busy at work and then had to head to an interview. Something had to be cut out of the picture and sad to say it was Thursday Throwback.

Yesterday at my interview the guy asked me “Living or dead, who would you want to have dinner with?” In a situation like that my usual asnwer would have instantly been Lil Wayne, but I figured that isn’t the ‘hire me’ answer they would have been looking for. I thought about it quick and found an awesome answer…Steve Jobs.

Since I consider myself an honest person, do I really want to have dinner with Steve Jobs? Ehhh kinda, but he wouldn’t be the first 5 on my list. I’d still take Weezy and his purple drank any day.

That question had me thinking though, screw dinner…what celebrities do I want to drink with?  I thought long and hard about this, and here are my top 5.

1. Lil Wayne

Weezy

I don’t know what it is about Lil Wayne but I love him. I  think he would be a great time to go out with. He’s got a creepy ass presence about him that I like. I can see myself making him say funny things in his weird ass voice all night just for my entertainment. He’s a rapper but tries to act like a rocker, he’s a mess. He would be first on my list to drink with.

2. Megan Fox

Amazing

Megan Fox needs to be on this list because she might be a terrible actess, but she is amazing. She makes the list because if we were drinking together she might get drunk enough to hook up with me. That’s really all that needs to be said for her.

3. Charlie Day 

Love this guy

Charlie Day is hilarious. A night out with him would be epic. He would do funny things, say funny things, and like Lil Wayne, he has a weird sounding voice. Imagine a conversation between Lil Wayne and Charlie Day? It would be unreal. Just like Lil Wayne, I would probably have Charlie do and say funny things that I can laugh at. He also seems like a big shot taker/shot buyer, and every group needs one of them.

4. Rihanna

Big Red.

On the way to the drinking festivities on Homecoming, I made a proclamation in the car that if I could only listen to 5 artists for the rest of my life Rihanna would be one of them. I meant what I said, every Rihanna song gets stuck in my head. She is beautiful, and has an accent that I like. Her lastest music video for “We found love” really helped her get on this list because it looked like she knows how to have a great time. Get it Ri-Ri.

5. David Guetta

A legend

I would have said Tiesto but I think the language barrier would have been a tough one to get over. All kidding aside, I think David Guetta is awesome. His music is great, can you name one song he’s done that you don’t like? I really can’t. In all his videos he looks like he is having a great time, and at the end of the day he’s a DJ, how perfect would that be for your party? “You can turn off your iPod, we have Guetta here”

Those are my 5. I think they are a pretty random group of people, but then again, the people I hang out with in real life are a pretty random group of people.

Who would make it on your top 5?


Weekend Recap – Halloweekend

I have to be honest, the only thing “scary” about this weekend was how much it sucked.
Here’s a quick rundown of this weekend.
Friday
Friday night my friends had  a Halloween party. It was your standard post-college Halloween party, costumes, drinking, bars, blacking out. Now that Halloween is over with, I can reveal my costume. Chaney and I KILLED it as LMFAO. This year I have to say, I saw a lot of group costumes. LMFAO, Super Heroes, 2 Sets of Waynes World, the typical couple costumes, the 3 blind mice, and some Mario Kart action.
One of my favorite costumes this year without a doubt has to be this little shit.

Angry Bird

Sileo as an Angry Bird might have been one the funniest costumes of the night. Sileo and an Angry Bird are very similar. Little, Round, and Angry Looking. (Sil, you know I love you)

Killin it as LMFAO

Gotta be honest, first and last time doing something pop culture relate. Seeing other people dressed as the same thing as you is pretty annoying. We had no problem yelling at other LMFAO wannabe’s in the street.

Another costume I have to give an honorable mention to is…

Get It Mia

Mia. Every Halloween Mia’s costumes consist of a short dress, ears, and a tail. Every Year. Bee, Cat, Devil etc…
Saturday
Saturday morning I woke up, didn’t even have the effect of a hangover yet because I was still drunk. I think waking up like that is one of the best feelings. You are still enjoying yourself, everything is still funny  as hell and then you ease into your hangover. Luckily for me, on the ride home I had to pull over so Amanda can throw up on the side of the road, again. Honestly, nothing but class with that girl.
The rest of Saturday was pretty much a joke. It snowed all day and all night. Tree’s fell down everywhere, none of the roads were plowed. I spent all day and night Saturday going bat-shit crazy in my house. Nothing to write about at all. Since I didn’t do anything Saturday I decided to take a heaping dose of my cough medicine with Codeine and enjoy the night.
Sunday
Since I didn’t have a hangover I can say that I woke up feeling fine. The snow wasn’t a dream, my saturday truly did suck that much. I felt better because I wasn’t the only one to stay in Saturday night. Nothing really was done on Sunday, I had a lot of energy so I didn’t spend the whole day/night in my bed.
Overall, weekend was horrible. I saw about 50 jokes on Facebook/Twitter on how Halloween decided to dress up as Christmas this year and had a raging case of cabin fever from being stuck inside all day.
Sunday was also Face’s birthday. Face marks the first friends birthday at the Hangover Bible. As tradition here, I will post a fine memory from the birthday boy/girl.

Me, Face, Deezy

My finest memory of Face comes from our Spring Break trip. Every night when Deezy, Face and I would be walking back to the hotel we would have to stop for Face so that he could throw up in the bushes/road. We were gone for 5 days, and like clockwork every night on the way home, he would stop and throw up. Face is also an excellent negotiator (getting us another free night in the Bahamas) and loves Salted Cashews. Happy Birthday Buddy!

How was your Halloweekend? What were you? 


The Two Day Hangover

For all those who are reading the title of this post and know how a two day hangover feels, I truly am sorry for you.

I have had a two day hangover maybe once or twice in my life. Thankfully, I am not an expert on these. I got a text message yesterday from a friend, telling me that I missed a hangover on my type of hangover blog. The epic, Two Day Hangover.

(((This post may get a little graphic so read with caution)))

 

My first two day hangover was one of the worst two days of my life. I was young and it was one of my first times drinking. I had no clue what my limit was and I drank beer, vodka, and took shots of tequila until it started tasting like water. I ripped my pants, had liquor all over myself and somehow was dropped home. (Till this day, it hasn’t been determined how I got home) The next morning I woke up in my bed and felt fine, until I lifted my head from the pillow. The pounding of my head wasn’t even funny. I’m talking flu like symptons bad. I spent the whole first day throwing up until I got to that point where everything is out of your system an it’s basically stomach bile. (I said this was a graphic post) I showered and couldn’t shake the feeling so I spent the whole day dead in bed, thinking I would wake up on Sunday and feel fine. Sunday morning rolls around and let me tell you, I was shit out of luck. I was still getting the shakes, I wasn’t hungry at all, puking was my new favorite thing and I was beginning to question if this was a hangover or if I was actually ill. I also got to the mind frame that everything starts to smell like liquor. Soda – Vodka, Iced Coffee – Tequila, Milk Shakes – Jack Daniels.  That genius move on my part made for unnecessary bathroom trips. You end up getting over them but during that time they might be the worst feeling in your life.

Random side note – My good friend had vertigo and said that one time he drank while he had it and his hangover lasted 1 week. Here we are complaining about a two day hangover and this poor bastard had a seven day one?

I decided to text/gchat some friends and ask about their experiences. Here we go…

Anthony – Have you ever had a two day hangover?  Describe it for me..
Bullard –  Ok day 1- you pretty much want to kill yourself. You try everything in the book to shake this hangover,  tons of water, greasy food , making yourself puke, nothing helps. you’re basically a corpse. Then day 2 comes around.  I woke up and felt like I was hit by a mac truck, you have the headache but the nausea is gone.  Day 2, you upgrade from a corpse to a walking zombie and it’s pretty much a normal hangover day

Anthony – Have you ever had a two day hangover? Describe it for me..
Mike–  It was the worst. It was one of those that comes and goes whenever it wants, you’d think you’re ok like after the shower but then later you walk outside and it smacks you again.

Sounds pretty shitty to me.

Finally, we have the person who asked me to write about this topic in her own personal opinion.

This is called “Ask Cait”

Meet Cait

Anthony– “Alright Cait, I’m doing a post on the two day hangover, tell me all about it.”
Cait–  “Ohhhhhh Sheeeeet. Alright well first day, you wake up wishing you hadn’t. Stumble to the bathroom…look at yourself (wishing you hadn’t) brush your teeth but fuck the shower because lets be real, you need the darkness. Enter Savior Number 1 – Siesta Shades. They literally make your room a cave. Greatest invention since the wine opener. Then you pop about 7 Advil and try to pass out with the TV on low, while you’re randomly screaming at your roommates to shut the fuck up because you “are wayy more hungover than they are”. The majority of the day is spent like that, trying to choke down a Perrier or Gatorade. Finally, wake up around 8 or 9ish..only to be pissed off that all your roommates ate and smoked a blunt without you. Now you are pissed, grab some pretzels or something easy to eat and go back to the cave where you sulk the rest of the night. You have a horrible nights sleep because now you need some kind of stimulation because you’ve been a waste all day. Wake up mad early the next day in a dazed fog. Definitely grab a coffee and most likely a muffin, something to put in your stomach. But you walk around all day like a zombie, kind of lethargic, like you smoked wayy too much weed but you never did. In this cause you can either give in and smoke if you have nothing to do or if it’s Monday and you have work like me you can just pop an Adderal and face the fact that Ethiopian babies skip meals all the time. So you have a red bull and try to finish the day. No actual work or anything productive gets done at all within these 2 days, and you are most likely a cunt to everyone you come across.”

There you have it, a two day hangover from a classy  ladies perspective haha
Have you had a two day hangover? What was it like?