Tag Archives: college

Dressing up just to get drunk

I have to admit, I love a good theme party, and with Christmas just around the corner, how many theme parties will you be attending? I’m sure everyone has the Ugly Sweater party to go to, or the Santa and his Hoe Hoe Hoe’s party. Think outside of the box though? Have you ever been to any out of the loop theme parties?

Here is a list of some of the memorable theme parties from the past. 

1. Strippers & Tippers, CEO’s & Corporate Hoe’s Parties. 

In High School those were all the rage. Actually any excuse for a girl to dress slutty and make a rhyme out of it just so happended to be something every girl wanted to do. Almost like a right of passage. Surfer Bro & Bikini Hoe, Football Bro & Cheerleader Hoe, Santa & His Hoe Hoe Hoe’s, the list can go on and on. **New Drinking Game Alert** Next time you are out, think of names that go with a group of friends, the friend that fucks it up takes a shot. (..and you say I don’t look out for you)

Problem with theme’s like those is that you can’t actually drink and party with strippers unless you are really tipping the hell out of them. They also usually bring a huge bodyguard with them or a small pimp with a gun. When you work in corporate America you will notice the CEO, but 98% of the women aka “corporate hoe’s” look like middle age’d, rundown, mothers that you don’t want dressed slutty.

2. The Highlighter Party 

That party was actually really fun. The girls of course got really into the theme with the way they set up the party and how they completely transformed their house. You walked in, they handed you highlighters, the whole house was turned to black lights, and they had white papers all over the walls. They basically allowed you to go crazy in their house. This was very out of the norm for the house the party was at because to put it nicely, one of the girls living their was as controlling as an abusive boyfriend. Word to the wise though on parties like these; just wear the plain white shirt, you aren’t a badass because you wore blue to the highlighter party.

Don't know why it's not blacklight

3. Candy Land /Neon Party

This was a pretty fun party. Basically the girls who lived at the house decided they wanted to throw a Candy Land party. You had to dress up in neon colors and that was it. They had candy land types of items all over the house. The people at the party were dressed so bright you could have had a migraine. The best part was the candy soaking in Vodka. It may have soaked a little too long because they were violent to eat. Just so happens this party was at Closs’ house at school. I’m starting to notice a little trend with Closs here..anyone else?

We rocked yellow

They rocked pink

4. The Fake theme party 

My personal favorite. One night we decided to call all our friends up and tell them we were having a black out party. All you had to do was wear black, and if you didn’t don’t expect to come in. Naturally, everyone called asking if this was a joke, and wanted to make sure everyone was dressing up. I assured them that they have nothing to worry about and that everyone will be dressed up. It was a great theme that no one thought of before..Emo. The first ever Emo theme party. Everyone started coming over our house dressed in black like a funeral just let out. Much to everyone’s surprise myself and my four roommates were dressed in the brightest color’s possible. Excellent idea. Sorry, don’t have a picture for this one.

5. White Trash Wedding

The Sorority at our school was known for throwing awesome parties. Thankfully, we knew a lot of girls in this Sorority so we got to go to all the parties. The best party I have ever went to that was a theme was the White Trash Wedding. They had a shit load of kegs, shots galore, a fake priest, a fake bride and groom, a fake bridal party, and we were all invited to the ceremony. The ceremony was hilarious; the priest was smoking a cigarette the whole time. We all had a champagne toast after the wedding and then started to aggressively drink. The best part about this wedding was that you HAD to get your outfit from the thrift shop. I rocked a creamsicle orange blazer, a bud light t-shirt and a whack ass tie. Best party ever.

A touch of class

Wow…I miss college.

What are some theme parties you’ve been to?


Ugly Christmas Sweaters

Well this is a topic my mom can write about for days and days. She is a victim to owning about 25-30 ugly Christmas sweaters, but here is the kicker, she didn’t think they were ugly. My grandmother would buy my mom these horrid looking sweaters every year, and if you think it stopped at Christmas you are DEAD wrong. My mom owned tacky Halloween sweaters, long sleeve shirts, vests, and earrings. She owned Thanksgiving sweaters, long sleeve Thanksgiving shirts, Turkey vests, and Cornucopia earrings and she had an arsenal of Christmas sweaters, long sleeve Christmas shirts, Christmas vests, and Christmas earrings.  Whats worse than getting picked by your mom rocking mom jeans? Your mom rocking mom jeans, an obnoxious Christmas sweater, jingle belles on her ears, and a turtle neck with little ho ho ho’s all over her shirt. She looked like Santa drank too much the night before and threw up Christmas all over her.

Thankfully, two of her best friends told her it’s time to retire the “Cracker Factory Sweaters” and start dressing normal around the Holiday’s. It wasn’t an easy one but after some time the awful Christmas attire made it’s way to a box and was put in the attic for a long period of time. High School goes by, and it wasn’t until college that the ugly Christmas sweater made its re-debut.

My roommates and I got an invite to a friends ugly Christmas sweater party and I basically shit myself.  Everyone quickly to be creative and run to the nearest thrift shop and try to find the tackiest sweater that could possibly resemble Christmas. Luckily for me, my shit was vintage, and I knew for a fact that NOBODY would be rocking what I rocked. I drove home and told my mom the great news. She didn’t find it funny, and was frankly a little annoyed that her ‘expensive‘ sweaters would be used as a joke. I ended up taking 3 sweaters and a vest for myself and my roommates and I was ready to rock that party.

Best part is one of our family friends was at the party and his mom just so happens to be one of my moms best friends who told her to put the Christmas sweaters to rest. As soon as I walked in he came up to me and said “These are definitely your moms sweaters!”

Here are some pics, all the guys were styled by my mom’s God awful sweaters.

Trev rocking the tree, I'm in the red, Billy in the vest, Chris Kelz in the green

Thanks mom...

Full frontal of my creepy Christmas sledding scene..

If you plan on hosting an Ugly Christmas Sweater party this year, give me a call. I’ve got about 2 boxes of sweaters in my attic. Also for future reference , if you want pilgrims, I got pilgrims. If you want Cornucopias and Indians with Turkeys running around, I have those too. Halloween related sweaters are available upon request…

And I can say, with this post I officially started the Christmas Scene…are you ready for Christmas?


Weekend Recap

I know i’m one of the thousands of people to say this on a Monday morning, but I seriously hate them. I can’t function at all, it just took me 3 attempts to type ‘best’  correctly on the computer.

Moving on, it’s the weekend recap. I get slack from a few people (Spanish & Sil) that the recap isn’t always as funny as they would like it to be, but 1. it’s Monday and 2. Can’t pretend funny shit happened when it didn’t.

Here we go…

Friday 

Friday night’s usually aren’t my favorite night to go out on. I’m kind of tired after the work week and I have no problem throwing in the towel if it won’t be worth it. I ended up going out to some bars by my house. Everytime I go out to this one place I usually hate it and i’m ready to leave after an hour. Luckily for me, it was a really good night. I personally don’t think 23 is old at all, but Friday night I kept looking around and everyone looked and seemed to be 18-19 tops. One of my weaknesses is that I never know what shot I want when i’m about to order it. Once the bartender got to me I ordered 5 shots, I didn’t know what kind to get so I looked back at a friend, and after taking terrible advice from that friend I made the big mistake of asking for just plain vodka. It tasted like warm rubbing alcohol and was just an expensive, garbage, idea.

Side note – The last time I ever willingly ordered a shot of just Vodka was when I was 17 and my roommate and I got into a bar by school and didn’t know what else to order. 6 years later and I do it again? Amateur Move…

Saturday 

Woke up Saturday morning with a hell of  a hangover. I have to admit, I didn’t see this one coming at all. It didn’t last that long though, so thank God for small miracles. If you feel nauseous in the morning and don’t want to pull the trigger, I found a remedy. Drink a glass of cold Milk. I did that and when I finished I felt 100% better. A few friends came over for the pregame, we played an intense game of Speed Quarters, I never played before and i’m pissed that I waited this long, the game is awesome. After a pretty impressive pregame we made our way to the bars. While at the bar I heard from like 5 people how they read and like my blog. So if you are one of those people reading this, you kinda just made your Hangoverbible debut. Naturally after hearing people loved the blog, I felt famous. I also am looking to move out, I saw a few places that I really liked, but my drunk self decided to let people know that I am moving and everyone is invited to the housewarming party. Once the shots started tasting like water it was time to go home.

Side note – A known joke about me is that whenever I go somewhere new with my friends, that night and the next morning I tell people I am moving to that place. So far I am moving to the City, Hoboken, Nyack, Long Beach, Hamptons, & Miami.

Sunday

Sunday is your standard hangover day for me. I’m dead in bed for the better part of the day, watch Football, eat, and HBO. Nothing too complex, right?

Strange side note – Didn’t leave the house at all yesterday.

Overall, very good weekend.

What did you do this weekend?