Tag Archives: beer

I’m back..with a lot to say

It feels weird writing on this bad boy again, but I promise I have a legit reason as to why I have been MIA lately. I’m the asshole who gets blacked out drunk and wakes up with a concussion. Honestly, if someone held a gun to my head and asked me to tell them how it happened or they would shoot…well 1. that would be pretty aggressive on their part and 2. I would be dead. Thank you Everclear jello shots.

Let’s try to recap whatever part of last weekend I can rememebr. 

Last Saturday we all went to Closs’ on Long Island for a Christmas Party. Closs got very into the Christmas spirit, she decorated her house. she made Christmas drinks, hell she even made her Christmas shots with Everclear. The night was off to a great start, we were playing drinking games, picked our secret santa’s, continued playing drinking games and eventually went out. Sounds like a fun night right? However, from the initial hug’s hello until the time I hit my head, something went south.

I’m the asshole who didn’t realize that the Christmas shot’s were made with Everclear until the 5th one. I thought she may have had a heavy hand while pouring in the Vodka because after taking the jello shot you were burning inside. Then on to  the game, we played a game called “Shot Roulette”  which basically was take shot after shot after shot. I think I may have blacked out at the house before we went to the bar, because it’s starting to get blurry and I’m not even in the cab yet.

Once we got to the bar I can’t even tell you what happened, who I spoke to, what I spoke about or anything. The comical part about this is that I still don’t really mind that I was at that point. Is that Rock Bottom?

Here’s the kicker in this whole situation though. I am an organized drunk. I was blacked out, slammed my head into something that left me with a light concussion..but I woke up Sunday morning opended my back pack and saw my phone, my wallet, and my clothes folded. How many times  can you say that happened to you?

Sunday morning was terrible, I didn’t even really know I hit my head yet until someone reminded me and when I went to feel for a bump, my whole left side of my head was sore to the touch. I figured I was having a horrible hangover but it was much worse. The headache was pounding, like someone was constantly kicking me in the head, and I wanted to puke all day.

______________________

Here’s why I was gone for a full week…I went to the Doctor on Monday morning and he told me I had a light concussion, he basically said don’t watch TV, stay off the computer, don’t even think if you don’t have to. I heard that bad boy and I ran with it. I worked a total of a day 1/2 last week. Granted, it did really suck though, I had a splitting headache all day, when I tried to rebel and watch TV or go on my computer I would get sick to my stomach. Whether or not I felt better, I was 100% still going to Santacon.

Saturday 12/10/11 – Santacon. 

I’ve been waiting for Santacon since last December, so I didn’t give a shit if I needed to wrap my head up and put myself in a bubble I was going to drink heavily. Luckily, by Saturday I felt fine. We all went to White Plains in the morning, exchanged our gifts in our Santa Suits and then headed to the city for Santacon. Santacon was everything you can imagine. The streets were filled with Santas, it was almost like anything goes in the city that day. If you weren’t dressed in a Santa or Christmas related outfit, you stood out like a sore thumb.

South St. Seaport

That’s just some of the shit you would see that day. It was awesome though, drinking in public was basically no big deal, certainly not frowned upon. As we were walking to the next bar we saw a Santa with an old school boom box so we figured, we had to shake our shit.

Killin it

Believe it or not, mad people were dancing..not just us 2

We ended up going back to this bar we stopped to pee at earlier in the day. The best part was that we ended up going to a back room that no one would went into, and basically had the bar and room to ourself in the beginning. Some girls came in the room and since the bartender wasn’t there they decided to help themselves. Ladies were badass, literally behind the counter pouring themselves beer.

John, myself, Spads & Chaney

This was more towards the start of the day. Let me tell you right now, the pics will be getting worse. Before I show you those, here is a picture of the classiest of them all, Chaney.

hahahaha

There we go, now if that doesn’t get you in the Christmas spirit what will. If you watch American Horror Story, I’ll give you a few minutes to clean up after yourselves before I continue…

…..

……

….and we’re back. The drunker everyone got the funnier the night became. At the bar you would look over and see Santa’s shaking their shit on the dancefloor. Santa’s making out, Santa’s smoking cigarette’s, Santa’s throwing up. If a little kid saw this, they would be damaged for life.

Girls got dirty..

Told you the pictures were going to get worse..Wait till you see this next one.

Holy, Santa's Shitfaced

What tops a pic like that? A comment from his mom saying “It’s a good thing you’re not driving a sled!” on the Facebook picture.

Overall, Santacon was excellent. Mission accomplished.

Merry Christmas!

Did you go to Santacon? 

 

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New Spin on the Spotlight.

When you read the Spotlight do you ever think to yourself “damn, that’s me” or “my friend does the same exact shit”..well if you do, I want to hear it! 

Starting next Wednesday I will be expanding the Spotlight to everyone.

Email me at hangoverbible@gmail.com and give me a picture and a brief description and I will add them to the Spotlight. (You can keep their names or change their names, whatever you want)

Have it submitted by 11:59 Tuesday Night.  

Today’s Spotlight’s are Knots & Spads.

Both those nicknames sound like something an annoying kid would name their dog right?

First up, Knots.

Pain in the ass on the bed..

Knot’s is a full blown pain in the ass. Not a heavy drinker at all, more like an extreme lightweight. When she is drunk she has no rules and gets destructive. First thing to go is her volume control. She will basically talk to you in screaming form. Second thing to go would have to be her manners, she cut’s deep with her insults. A funny joke we all say about Knot’s is that she can take it and she most definitely can dish it. I know that was reversed but that is usually how it goes with her. Everyone will be joking around with and she will smile and laugh and bottle it up and when you are least expecting it, BOOOOOM…she hits you with an insult that makes you want to crawl in a ball. Touche Knotto.

Prime Memory of Lenknotto – We were all little Freshmen in college and we thought we were awesome. We went to LI to go out by Closs for the night. We had a pretty decent sized group and we were having a lot of fun. Ms. Knot’s got the drunkest, the quickest, and decided she was going to annoy the shit out of everyone for the rest of the night. First, she interrupted everyone’s pool game. Second, she started making jabs at the other girls, and finally, she decided to take a little red straw from the bar, light it on fire and proceed to blow it in my face. I let her do it for about 5 times and finally I decided to take the straw, put it in the fire and gently tap the skin on her hand. You would think I soaked her in gasoline, picked her up and threw her into a fire. She was threatening to sue, she was going to have me killed. You name it, I was going to experience it.

All in all, Knot’s is hilarious and I love her. Sure, she can be a pain in the ass, but every group needs one right? 

She was an animal at Deadmau5

 

And now..Spads 

bro'd out at Deadmau5

This guy will most definitely throw up the next morning. He is so nonchalant about it, its actually comical. “Hey Spads, what are you doing?” “Oh, i’ll be right back I need to puke”. It’s that simple, and its that non discreet. Spads is tied with Amanda on how loud one can actually be while throwing up. If there is one thing I can say about Spad’s that would keep it short and simple, yet speak volumes would have to be the word Woodjobs. I will never say anything else about it. He truly is Ellll Matadorrr (say it in a Spanish accent, roll your L’s and R’s)

Prime memory of Spads – Senior year of college, it was a Friday afternoon in April and we started day drinking. We were outside on my back porch, laughing, yelling and being loud. Someone’s pocket pussy got ripped apart and actually thrown on the side of the house. Next thing we know, a cop walks in the backyard and tells us to keep it down “You can’t be yelling shit like pocket pussy!”. We all stopped with the PP talk but continued to drink. We came up with this great idea to go to one of the girls houses and piss them off. Spads had an idea to slam dunk on their beer pong table. The group of us stumbled to the girls house, awkwardly sat around and then started a fake game of beer pong. All of a sudden a half Mexican went soaring through the air and split the girls table in half. When I tell you this was one of the funniest things I have ever seen in my life, i’m not kidding. I actually was on the floor in pain from laughing so hard and I pissed my pants.

I love you Spads.

The aftermath of that table..

 

Thats the Spotlight for this week folks. I’m looking forward to seeing your suggestions.

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