Tag Archives: Alcohol

I’m Baaaaaack

I bet you never thought you would be reading this bad boy again. Well, you were right….and then I got bored. After a pretty long hiatus, i’ve decided to brush the dust off my soapbox and start spewing the random shit I like to throw out there again.

A lot has happened since the last time I wrote on this site…some enjoyable, some not so much, some ridiculous, some you can’t miss.

1. I actually have a real job now.
-So long are the days where I would sit at my dads office, pretending to be hard at work. Meanwhile all I did was gchat, tweet, Facebook, and recount my drunken antics for all to read. Lets face it, I was fired every other week, and from the posts I would write, it was obvious I didn’t do much of anything.

2. My hangovers are no longer full day affairs.
-Remember those days when opening both eyes at the same time so you can delete those late night text messages seemed like a chore? That was the least of my problems. I now go to the gym, and nothing says your fucked more than having to run and lift while sweating out vodka from the night before while convincing your trainer that you actually sweat that much on a regular basis.

3. I eat healthy now.
-You read that one correctly. I eat healthy now. (Pause for laughter) I’ve been on a health kick after my birthday. It was time for me to switch something up…however I can promise you, old habits 100% die hard. Its at the point where every time I drink I found the nearest pizza place at 4am and get 2 penne vodka slices….diet food, bro.

Now, did this post have you piss your pants? No. You will though, be patient. This was my way of letting you all know that I’m back, and I have tons of shit to say. I’m going to switch it up though, it won’t be all about drinking stories (even though those are the best) I’ll let you know about what common things just irritate the hell out of me, quality beats you don’t want to miss, the most ridiculous tinder convos of the week, and whatever else i’m thinking….let’s not lie, you know you missed me.

and i'm back

aaand I’m back

Oh, and in case you were wondering…#GIG is still kicking.

 

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Ugly Christmas Sweaters

Well this is a topic my mom can write about for days and days. She is a victim to owning about 25-30 ugly Christmas sweaters, but here is the kicker, she didn’t think they were ugly. My grandmother would buy my mom these horrid looking sweaters every year, and if you think it stopped at Christmas you are DEAD wrong. My mom owned tacky Halloween sweaters, long sleeve shirts, vests, and earrings. She owned Thanksgiving sweaters, long sleeve Thanksgiving shirts, Turkey vests, and Cornucopia earrings and she had an arsenal of Christmas sweaters, long sleeve Christmas shirts, Christmas vests, and Christmas earrings.  Whats worse than getting picked by your mom rocking mom jeans? Your mom rocking mom jeans, an obnoxious Christmas sweater, jingle belles on her ears, and a turtle neck with little ho ho ho’s all over her shirt. She looked like Santa drank too much the night before and threw up Christmas all over her.

Thankfully, two of her best friends told her it’s time to retire the “Cracker Factory Sweaters” and start dressing normal around the Holiday’s. It wasn’t an easy one but after some time the awful Christmas attire made it’s way to a box and was put in the attic for a long period of time. High School goes by, and it wasn’t until college that the ugly Christmas sweater made its re-debut.

My roommates and I got an invite to a friends ugly Christmas sweater party and I basically shit myself.  Everyone quickly to be creative and run to the nearest thrift shop and try to find the tackiest sweater that could possibly resemble Christmas. Luckily for me, my shit was vintage, and I knew for a fact that NOBODY would be rocking what I rocked. I drove home and told my mom the great news. She didn’t find it funny, and was frankly a little annoyed that her ‘expensive‘ sweaters would be used as a joke. I ended up taking 3 sweaters and a vest for myself and my roommates and I was ready to rock that party.

Best part is one of our family friends was at the party and his mom just so happens to be one of my moms best friends who told her to put the Christmas sweaters to rest. As soon as I walked in he came up to me and said “These are definitely your moms sweaters!”

Here are some pics, all the guys were styled by my mom’s God awful sweaters.

Trev rocking the tree, I'm in the red, Billy in the vest, Chris Kelz in the green

Thanks mom...

Full frontal of my creepy Christmas sledding scene..

If you plan on hosting an Ugly Christmas Sweater party this year, give me a call. I’ve got about 2 boxes of sweaters in my attic. Also for future reference , if you want pilgrims, I got pilgrims. If you want Cornucopias and Indians with Turkeys running around, I have those too. Halloween related sweaters are available upon request…

And I can say, with this post I officially started the Christmas Scene…are you ready for Christmas?


He’s baaaack

Sorry I have been so MIA as of late, but I have been crazy busy and couldn’t get around to the Bible. I will give you an extra large post today to make up for my time away.

So lets get balls deep into this..

Friday night stole the show this weekend.  Saturday was one of those nights that in retrospective, I should have just stayed home.

Friday, Gene, Amanda, Paul, and Gene’s buddy Andy went to the city. Genie is now officially a video hoe, so he had to attend the Music Video premiere. Which I decided to show you guys. (skip to 47 seconds, killed it with those head movements) Paul, Amanda, and myself went to visit our friend Kristin at her apartment and then head to the bars.

We went to a few bars and ended up meeting up with Gene when he got out of the premiere. Paul decided to bring us to the other side of the city so we can meet up with his sister Theresa. At first, I’ll admit it, I was skeptical. We drove basically to what felt like Minnesota, and I had to wait like 15 minutes to get in. Naturally, this was pissing me off. Once we got in, the juice was most definitely worth the squeeze. The bar was a lot of fun, they played good music, everyone was shaking it, and Theresa straight up was killing it. We stayed at the bar for awhile, but it felt like 5 minutes. Nights like Friday are the best though, no one has a definite plan, and we just winged it.

Everyone seemed to have their best faces on..

Only cool kids rock blazers and drink Chardonnay out...

 

Genie looks too happy, and I just look like garbage

 

Amanda with the face, and Theresa getting dirty behind her

Willing to bet this was during mmmm bop

Overall, Friday was a great night. Like I said in a previous post, I like to say I’m moving to wherever I was the night before. So yes, NYC you are the flavor of the month right now, but my friends and I rented a Ski House for New Years Eve, who know’s…I may start calling Hunter Mountain home?

 

On a random side note – For those wondering, yes..I have been rehired. Working here has its perks, I can honestly tell you that last week I worked 1 full day. I got paid, not full pay, but I still got paid for the week so I’m feeling it.

On an even more random note– Since i’m working at the family company I occasionally send out my resume to places just to see what’s out there. I figured, since I have this blog that now i’m instantly qualified for blogging positions. I thought it was a great idea, however now I realize, I can’t send this shit to anyone..who will hire me as a staff blogger when my first blog is called “Hangoverbible” and all I do is talk about how my friends and I are animals. Well I guess on the bright side, if people like Amanda can be a teacher by day and throw up on the side of the road by night, i’m in the clear.

Finally –

Thanksgiving is basically here. I’m not a huge fan of the Holiday, I think Turkey is as boring as that girl that plans Emily Thorn on Revenge. However, I do love the night before, Thanksgiving Eve. Hilarious how you can turn anything into an “Eve” and make it drinking related. Birthday Eve, Halloween Eve, Easter Eve, St. Patrick’s Day Eve, Homecoming Eve..the list can go on, you get my point though. Ridiculous things have happened on Thanksgiving Eve for me.

Last year – My mom wouldn’t let us pregame in the house because we have Thanksgiving at my house and she was all set up and didn’t want me and “my animals” (what she likes to call us) ruining the house. So like 16 year olds my friends and I drank in my freezing cold garage before we went to the bar.

Two years ago – We went to some lounge, we were all shocked at how dead it was, not realizing they had an upstairs that was insanely packed. Will and Derek ended up going to another club. Spanish and I decided to go home on the train. We got in a huge train fight, basically 15 guys and girls vs Spanish and myself. This all ended with Spanish spraying a girl with her water bottle soaked in Vodka. I went back to my house that I had at school and waited for my friends to come back and meet me. They never did until 8am when I heard pounding on my door. They were lost in New Rochelle trying to find my house and both of their phones died. Not happy campers on the drive home.

With my last two Thanksgiving Eve’s going that way, I can’t wait to see how this one pans out.

Happy Thanksgiving! 

 

 


The People You See Out

You ever have those nights when you go out and get way too drunk? You wake up the next morning with a splitting headache, ready to puke, asking yourself why you did that last night? This happens to me far too often. I’m not much of a drunk texter/drunk dialer but the occasional slip-up does happen. I have fallen victim too many times to waking up the next morning piecing my night together. I love those nights with the random brown out’s but those nights where half  of your night is a blur is a bitch to wake up to. What I like to do to make myself feel better is, simply turn to my phone and just delete every text message and all my calls. The way I look at it is, If I don’t see or remember it, it never happened.

Happens

Sometime’s its that easy to act like it never happened, but many of us know the ” Play by Play Person“. I’ll admit, if something hilarious happens the night before it’s fine to tell me about it the next morning. I’m not talking about those people. I’m talking about the people who act like it’s their job to scare the shit out of you the next morning with what you did last night. Almost like they didn’t even drink at all that night, they were working, taking notes on you, so they can let you know everything you did the night before. It’s sad to say but I know a lot of these people, and if right now you are reading this and thinking “Shit, I think he’s talking about me” I might just be.

The Play by Play Person is worse than the “Random Picture Girl” any day. The random picture girl is the one who will just whip the camera out and take a picture of you sneezing because she thinks its necessary. The best is when you ask the Random Picture Girl to take a picture of you and your friends and she refuses because she only likes “candids”. Everyone’s a photographer now a days…my ass.

These next two people are true pains in my ass. The “I don’t drink because of family issues Person” and the “Random Kid from High School“. I understand not everyone drinks, but please don’t come out and make the faces because were all having a great time and you aren’t drinking because your sisters boyfriends dog trainers neighbor had a drinking problem. Stay home, or leave the faces you make when we take a shot home. The Random kid from High School is a hit or miss, you’re either really excited that you ran into them or really annoyed because they might be a clinger for the night. The”Girl Everyone Hooked Up With” usually makes an appearance out at the bars, makes it awkward for a few minutes but then no one really cares. Finally, the person I love running into when I go out is hands down the “Guy Who’s Buying the Shots“. We all know him and we all love him. Whether he comes out with you or you run into him, you know he’s going to make your night 10x better.

Courtesy of the shot guy

There are ton’s of people you run into when you go out, but I had to cut the list somewhere..right?

Do you fit in any of these categories? Tell me some more…

PS – Weekend is finally here..I hope everyone is at their dirtiest

#JustAnotherGIGweekend