He’s baaaack

Sorry I have been so MIA as of late, but I have been crazy busy and couldn’t get around to the Bible. I will give you an extra large post today to make up for my time away.

So lets get balls deep into this..

Friday night stole the show this weekend.  Saturday was one of those nights that in retrospective, I should have just stayed home.

Friday, Gene, Amanda, Paul, and Gene’s buddy Andy went to the city. Genie is now officially a video hoe, so he had to attend the Music Video premiere. Which I decided to show you guys. (skip to 47 seconds, killed it with those head movements) Paul, Amanda, and myself went to visit our friend Kristin at her apartment and then head to the bars.

We went to a few bars and ended up meeting up with Gene when he got out of the premiere. Paul decided to bring us to the other side of the city so we can meet up with his sister Theresa. At first, I’ll admit it, I was skeptical. We drove basically to what felt like Minnesota, and I had to wait like 15 minutes to get in. Naturally, this was pissing me off. Once we got in, the juice was most definitely worth the squeeze. The bar was a lot of fun, they played good music, everyone was shaking it, and Theresa straight up was killing it. We stayed at the bar for awhile, but it felt like 5 minutes. Nights like Friday are the best though, no one has a definite plan, and we just winged it.

Everyone seemed to have their best faces on..

Only cool kids rock blazers and drink Chardonnay out...

 

Genie looks too happy, and I just look like garbage

 

Amanda with the face, and Theresa getting dirty behind her

Willing to bet this was during mmmm bop

Overall, Friday was a great night. Like I said in a previous post, I like to say I’m moving to wherever I was the night before. So yes, NYC you are the flavor of the month right now, but my friends and I rented a Ski House for New Years Eve, who know’s…I may start calling Hunter Mountain home?

 

On a random side note – For those wondering, yes..I have been rehired. Working here has its perks, I can honestly tell you that last week I worked 1 full day. I got paid, not full pay, but I still got paid for the week so I’m feeling it.

On an even more random note– Since i’m working at the family company I occasionally send out my resume to places just to see what’s out there. I figured, since I have this blog that now i’m instantly qualified for blogging positions. I thought it was a great idea, however now I realize, I can’t send this shit to anyone..who will hire me as a staff blogger when my first blog is called “Hangoverbible” and all I do is talk about how my friends and I are animals. Well I guess on the bright side, if people like Amanda can be a teacher by day and throw up on the side of the road by night, i’m in the clear.

Finally –

Thanksgiving is basically here. I’m not a huge fan of the Holiday, I think Turkey is as boring as that girl that plans Emily Thorn on Revenge. However, I do love the night before, Thanksgiving Eve. Hilarious how you can turn anything into an “Eve” and make it drinking related. Birthday Eve, Halloween Eve, Easter Eve, St. Patrick’s Day Eve, Homecoming Eve..the list can go on, you get my point though. Ridiculous things have happened on Thanksgiving Eve for me.

Last year – My mom wouldn’t let us pregame in the house because we have Thanksgiving at my house and she was all set up and didn’t want me and “my animals” (what she likes to call us) ruining the house. So like 16 year olds my friends and I drank in my freezing cold garage before we went to the bar.

Two years ago – We went to some lounge, we were all shocked at how dead it was, not realizing they had an upstairs that was insanely packed. Will and Derek ended up going to another club. Spanish and I decided to go home on the train. We got in a huge train fight, basically 15 guys and girls vs Spanish and myself. This all ended with Spanish spraying a girl with her water bottle soaked in Vodka. I went back to my house that I had at school and waited for my friends to come back and meet me. They never did until 8am when I heard pounding on my door. They were lost in New Rochelle trying to find my house and both of their phones died. Not happy campers on the drive home.

With my last two Thanksgiving Eve’s going that way, I can’t wait to see how this one pans out.

Happy Thanksgiving! 

 

 

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Woah, Sorry I suck

Well I shit the bed hard this week, didn’t I?

Just giving you a quick update to whats going on. I work at the family business, which means it has it’s up and it most definitely has it down’s.

Some Positives –

1. You can be late – you can’t make it a daily thing, but if sometimes you come in at 9:10-9:15, it’s not the end of the world.

2. Boring day? Take a long lunch – I have to admit I have taken 2 hour lunches before.

3. Blog about it – When I have downtime at work, I’ll open up this bad boy and post something new.

4. G-Chat – G-Chat all day, everyday.

5. Work ends at 3:30-4 – Can you tell me a job that you leave for the day at 3:30-4 and still get paid great money?

Now, if you are reading this and think to yourself “Wow, rub it in asshole” let me lists some negatives for you.

Some Negatives – 

1. The work day ends, but the work discussion never does – Dinner, weekends, mornings, nights..work questions are never off limits.

2. Countless firings – If I had a dollar for every time I have been fired, I would probably be able to retire and live comfortably right now. (I am currently fired right now, I’ll be back to work tomorrow)

3. Leeeets get ready tooooo rumbleee – Oh yes, you read that one right, when you have two bosses and one is your dad and the other is your brother..you bet your ass it goes down. I may or may not have walked out of the office with a ripped shirt after a heated conversation with my older brother.

4. Flexible hours – I know I listed that as a positive, but it works both ways..If someone needs to be at the office at 8am guess who gets that honor?

5. It’s your fault – Something went wrong? Of course it’s your fault. People are late? Yup, you caused the traffic.

I promise once i’m back at work my routine will become normal again. Until then, i’m funemployed and loving it right now.

 


Little Late Recap

Hello Hello…Sorry  I didn’t post yesterday, I won’t even sugarcoat it..I just really didn’t feel like it. Monday’s are hard to attempt to be funny on, so I figured lets just skip that day.

 

So lets pretend it’s Monday..roll up our sleeves and get dirty?

Friday

Friday night started at a wake and ended with a bar fight. Yes, a few hours separated these two incidents, but they still happened. After the wake I went over to my buddy’s apartment and a group of us drank until we were numb and decided to make way to the bars. Not gonna lie, this was possibly the longest pregame I have ever participated  in. I got there at around 9:30 and we didn’t go to the bars until it was 1:30.  Thankfully, the bars by us don’t close until 4am so we had some time. We started at one bar that was pretty dead, so we literally danced in a circle, pounded a few beers and moved on to the next one. The second bar we went too used to be a favorite of mine, but as of lately it started sucking. At around 3:30 a fight broke out that was one for the books. Bouncers ran over and couldn’t break it up, so the bartenders ran over to help, and finally when both failed, the cops had to run in. This isn’ t the first fight i’ve witnessed at this place.

1st Incident– Trev, Bri, Will, Justin, and myself went to this bar around Christmas time last year. We were by the bathroom and Trev bumped into this guy. (Total Accident) The guy was beyond pissed off and looked a little too much like DMX. The guy proceeded to scream in Trev’s face, and follow us around the bar. We tried talking to him to make the son of a bitch chill out and he just wouldn’t listen. It was at the point where he told us he would like to take us outside so that he can kill us. Meanwhile, keep in mind, while this insane little Pitbull of a person is telling us he wants to bash our skull in, Trev and I are looking at him like he has 8 heads and kept saying “You need to chill, he bumped into you and apologized”. Slowly, but surely this little Pitbull of a guy turned it into a race issue. Make a long story short the fight ended with him cracking a wise ass smile and putting his arm around us and telling us “You crackers fucked with the wrong n****”.  Till this day, whenever I spot him out I close my eyes and envision kicking him in the face, but I just look away.

2nd Incident – We all went to the same bar over the summer. There’s like 8 bars on this strip so hate it or love it you will be going to the same bars a lot. A group of us were dancing on the dance floor but these little bitchy girls decided they wanted to talk in the middle of the dance floor. They were getting heated that my buddy kept bumping them while he was dancing. One of us made a little comment along the lines of “it’s a dance floor, have your conversation to the sides” Naturally, they took this comment the same way they would take hearing that someone killed their grandmother. They were pissed. Half of us went to another bar while the other half went home. The remaining few decided to get pizza before calling it a night. It just so happens that the girls from the bar sat at the table next to us. Comments started flying around and one of their guy friends decided to come up to me to soothe sit situation. One of our girls Cait decided to tell him “If you hang out with pieces of shit like that, get the fuck away from us.” One of the girls walked over, grabbed Cait’s hand and slapped her, which sparked Cait jumping up and unleashing on this girl. We decided to wait about 5 minutes so that we wouldn’t have to run into them as we left, but sure enough as soon as we walked out, they were waiting. The girl went to go after Cait, but being a gentleman I jumped in front. After about the 6th slap to my face this little bitch made contact with her nail to my eye. If you know this story, you know what happened after..I won’t be repeating the rest. (Don’t worry, I didn’t hit a bitch)

Saturday 

Saturday was the Big Bad Bull’s birthday in the city. It was a lot of fun. A lot of our friends were there, we all took a lot of shots, and I tried sneaking into the VIP area for some Mozz Sticks. Interestingly enough, the birthday girl stayed at her party for about an hour. We missed our train so we got to the bar late, and the birthday girl had her own agenda. Only one thing funny happened on Saturday. One of our more obnoxious friends decided it was okay to walk out of her apartment with hot pink lips. This was one of the funniest sights of the night. As luck would have it, I took a picture for you.

hahaha

I had a blast with those bad boys.

Great idea

Sunday

As if i didn’t hate Sunday’s enough…

Well I woke up sunday morning from my friends place, we did a quick recap of the night, everyone was laughing having a great time. My hangover was hardly even there so I was ready to get home relax a little, shower and tailgate before the Jets game. Well if you haven’t learned from this blog yet, my life is never that easy. As I left, my car had a flat and I didn’t realize until I was in the middle of 287. Now, when you have Amanda in the car, pulling over on the side of the road is nothing out of the ordinary, but this time it wasn’t for her to puke. I’m guilty of being a little bitch and not knowing how to change a flat. I’ll put that on the bucket list. Trevor, my college roommate from Texas would have killed me. This guy can change a flat tire in give or take 4 minutes. Freshman year when he fixed my flat he informed me “That’s the problem with y’all New York bitches, Triple A, in Texas they throw us under the cars when we’re like 5.” We had to wait for the tow truck to come and fix it. Not a big deal at all, besides the fact that I looked like a fucking idiot. I had a on a yellow looney toon’s shirt that says “Da Crew”, purple and gold Lakers shorts, argyle socks and dress shoes. Let me tell you, when that tow truck driver got out of his truck to fix my flat and I looked like that…that was rock bottom. He was cool though, fixed it really fast and I accidently tipped him a 50 instead of a 20, after seeing his eyes light up I realized the mistake I made. The day got better once I got home and went to the Jets game, and then they lost.

There it is

 

This was supposed to be the "Rock Bottom" picture

Overall this weekend was a good one minus the little incident Sunday morning. How was your weekend & who else can’t change a tire? 


Ice Ice Baby

Before I start my post for the day I would like to wish a very Happy Birthday to the big bad Bull! Bull is the oldest of our friends, hitting the big bad 24 mark is a steep one. She’s that much closer to 25, which means she’s half way to 30, while the rest of us are still soaking up 23 for a while. We laugh now, but when she was the only one who was 21 and could get kegs, she was pretty famous. Well we had options of course, it was either the Bull or one of her roommate’s 35 year old boyfriend. (I’m not joking)

Happy Birthday Bull!

That picture brings up today’s post. Summer 2011 and the Icing’s that took place. My friend Paul and I literally drove around town on random nights that we were bored and Ice’d people. If you don’t know what it means to be “Ice’d” let me sum it up for you. You hide a Smirnoff Ice and when the person see’s it they have to get down on 1 knee and chug it. That’s how people play, however I did whatever the hell I wanted. Here we go..

Co-Icer got ice'd

It was only appropriate that the person I ice’d with got ice’d. His ice was simple, I called him up, put it by his tire, he came outside, saw it and chugged it.

Now we can get into some Ice’s that I especially enjoyed.

Got my Dad

Got my MomGot my brother

Got my cousin, Mike

and my cousin, Jenna

Clearly, after seeing those 5 pictures it’s obvious that absolutely no one was off limits. It wasn’t just friends, it was also a family affair. 4 out of the 5 of those pictures were taken at the same family barbecue. Sometimes it’s just that damn easy.

A lot of double Ice’s were given out.

Paul and Genie

These two thinkin' their awesome with the pose

Girl on Girl Ice's

I loved the idea of a Double Ice. Not only did I get you, I got your friend too. I would like to make a note..the second picture in the Double Ice section was one of the most annoying/dramatic pictures taken in the ice album. The blonde, Cait had nothing to do with it, Nicole on the left, made me take about 4 pictures, breaking every rule I had for the damn Ice’ings.

Having people come out of the house completely unaware of anything going on was always a fun one.

Pulled JC right out of his girlfriends house

Made Tyler stop packing for Florida to come outside

Had Shan's Uncle stop prepping for his child's Communion Party to get Ice'd

Kristin has an awesome view, so we had to Ice her

Walked right into Higgs house for this one

Angelo wasn't expecting this at all

Fellow Blogger, 'Steph Snacks' even got it. Read her blog StephSnacks.com (it's really good)

Clearly by these pictures these people had no clue whatsoever that this was coming. Paul and I had people getting ready for bed, getting ready for the shower, and whatever the hell else they were doing.

If you came to my house over the summer, all bets were off, you should have 100% had your guard up.

If you came for a pregame, you got ice'd

If you came over to swim, you got ice'd

If you came over to chill, you got ice'd

Stopped by after work? You got Ice'd

 

Even iced JZ

I even got the neighbors

Anyone near, or around my property got iced. I never had to worry about running out, I basically had stock of Smirnoff this summer.

Killed 2 birds with 1 stone with this Ice'ing

Bri was the first, got Joe second

I still laugh after seeing these two pictures. I had two people meet me at seperate times in a parking lot so that I can Ice them.

I did work in Ocean City.

Woke Tara up out of a nap to get her

John spent the whole trip blacked out drunk so I doubt the Ice'ing mattered

After 7 hours of traffic in a car with Pete, the least I can do was Ice him

Of course Jill was going to get Ice'd

Ocean City was a success. I ice’d the shit out of people on that trip. Only downside to it was that every time we went to pick up beer or liquor I had to stop at the 711 and get Smirnoff Ice.

The trip to the beach was another great Ice’ing day.

Had to pull over so that we can Ice this one

Chaney was an Ice'ing victim too many times

Staten Island Sil

Even pain in the ass Knot's got Ice'd

The beach Ice’ings were a lot of fun. We had Ice’s in peoples pockets, in Can Jam, on the boat. The Ice’s started off cold but by the end of the day they were piss warm. Should have got ice’d first not last. For the record, I would like to point out that Amanda’s Ice’ing was right outside of 711, families were watching her, cars passing her on the road watched her, and she slammed her teeth with it at first. Honestly, never a dull moment.

And Finally, if it didn’t happen, I would consider myself a huge tool.

I got Ice'd..

That was my second time getting Ice’d that summer. Will is holding me up because I almost fell on my face while doing it.

Smirnoff should have sent me something for the amount of money I spent on those damn things this summer. It was a lot of fun though.

Have you ever been Ice’d?


Thursday Throwback – Happy Birthday John!

Staying with the birthday theme for this week, I decided I would make the Throwback story this week birthday related. This was from our friends surprise party in the city.

John’s girlfriend, and Hangoverbible regular, Jill decided she was going to throw John a surprise party for his birthday. She planned a whole big open bar deal for everyone, she got all our friends from school to come, all his friends from home to come, and even some of his family. John had no clue about the party, so basically mission accomplished right? We all got to the bar pretty early, the bartender clearly wasn’t ready for all of us, he had no clue what he was doing; instead of giving us wristbands, he wrote huge X’s on our hands in sharpie. Finally, he got a hold of the situation and the night was off to a great start.

A lot of women were coming in, some were good looking, others were manly, we didn’t really think anything of it. Before John came, we all started noticing one thing, this was without a doubt a lesbain bar, and ALL the lesbians at this bar were giving us death stares as to why the hell we were there. Shit officially got awkward. I won’t lie, my grouping of friends are not the type that just blends in a situation, we like to have our presence known when we go out.

Shortly after that John walks in, we all yell surprise and continue on with our night. Had to proceed with caution though because these girls really didn’t like that we were there. Girl on girl on the dance floor, girl on girl going on at the tables, girl on girl at the bar, girl on girl everywhere. I’m sure some of you are thinking “Girl on girl? That doesn’t sound that bad” well half of these girls were giving looks like they wanted you the fuck out of the bar as soon as possible. The night was fun, everyone ended up getting very drunk, we were all pretty cool with the lesbians by the time the night ended.

However, one thing you need to know about me is that there rarely is a happy ending. This story will prove that. As we are all leaving, most of us had left already, and of course a fight breaks out. Some of our buddies got in a fight with what may have been the other group of straight people at the bar. I was already on the train when I started getting texts saying “FIGHT BROKE OUT, C***** HIT HIS HEAD AND ITS GUSHING BLOOD AND T**** GOT STABBED”. Naturally, I shit my pants..someone got stabbed? Is this a fucking joke? I called and texted everyone, didn’t really get any answers, so with there being not much that I can do at this point I got off the train, grabbed some McDonalds and went back to my friends house and waited for the aftermath to ensue.

Make a long story short, the stabbing wasn’t that bad..it was a nice little cut around his fingers, and the head trauma wasn’t really bad either. No one had to go to the hospital, all was well. At the end of the day, shit happens when you party with lesbians.

Birthday Boy

 

Finally, a pic of Pete

 

My usual routine when I go out

 

Mark DJ'ing

Whens your birthday and how did/do you celebrate?

 


Spotlight – Birthday Week Edition

It’s that time of the week folks. This is usually my favorite post to do during the week. It’s simple, I already know what the topic will be, and all I need to do is figure out who will be featured.

This week I decided I would use a theme. The two people who are featured had their Birthday’s this week.

Introducing the birthday boy and girl…Will and Dee.

Ladies go first, so here’s Dee.

Get It Dee

Today is actually her birthday so get it girl’s are in order. One word to describe Dee would have to be ‘Wild“. She is a small girl with a loud mouth, a surprisingly raspy voice, and curses like a sailor. Not too long ago a few of us from college had a little video chat date and she actually took us all outside with her on a cigarette break. May have been one of the funniest experiences of my life. Shaping the minds of the future by day, drunk and wild animal at night. When Dee comes out, you know its going to be a fun night.

Insight on Dee – One night we all went to a pregame at our friends house before heading to the city to celebrate a friends birthday. After a great night out, everyone came home their drunkest. I was lucky enough to be in the cab that arrived back to our friends house with Dee first. She was so drunk that she was convinced everyone else was home and in one of our friends bedrooms. I watched in awe as she grabbed a butter knife and started trying to break in to the the bedroom. She ended up getting caught with the butter knife in the door as our friends came back about 10 minutes after.

Dee taking us on a cig break

Dee breaking in the door

Next up – Will 

That's about right..

If you ever had to pick a picture that would sum someone up, this is the picture. Will is one of a kind in every way possible. He’s one of the few people that if you didn’t meet him in college, you would graduate feeling like you missed something. Will and I lived together for two years during school, and I have some stories that I could probably get arrested for. (we’ll have to leave those out) Climbing up a billboard, playing ring and run and getting arrested, egging people, MC Hammer for Halloween, climbing mountains to found ‘the spot’ or anything in between, it was never a dull moment with this guy.

The infamous "ring and run" night

Insight on Will – His birthday is exactly two months after mine. Junior year of college we lived in a house with 8 other guys, and for Will’s birthday we decided to throw a party for him. This party turned into one of those parties that you see in the movies, you don’t know anyone there, you can’t find anyone that lives there, you have no control whatsoever, and to top it all off the cops came. Don’t get me wrong, before the cops came we were having a great time, our landlord stopped by with a handle of Patron for Will’s birthday. Will kind of went missing for awhile, turns out he passed out on one of the couches  upstairs. The cops saw him, tried to wake him up, but he was basically dead to the world. Make a long story short, we got a ticket for noise and a meeting with one of the Dean of Dick’s at our school.

Best picture Ever

That’s the Spotlight for today…stay tuned, you never know when you might be on it..


Liquored Nights

I’m not a believer in the whole “beer before liquor never been sicker” and “liquor before beer and your in the clear” garbage. However, I am a little bitch when it comes to anything Tequila related.

So I decided, let me take you through the motions of what these bad boys do to me.

Vodka 

Vodka is by far my favorite liquor. We have an excellent relationship with each other. Like any relationship, we have had our up’s and down’s. Vodka got me through a tough time when I couldn’t stand the taste of beer due to a horribly drunken night. (That sounds insane but its the truth.)

Some GooseBall in the Hotel

The famous bottle from the debut Throwback story

I’m not one of those people who discriminant Vodkas. My only preference is anything but Popov and Georgi.

A quick Vodka related story – Freshman year of college some of the girls would play a little game called “SHOTS!”. Take 5 seconds to try to imagine how to play the game. Ready? Okay, basically they sat around going about their daily routine and when 1 of the girls screamed “SHOT!” they took shots. I walked in the room during this game and it looked like a war zone. The three of them were beyond drunk, one had the balls to yell SHOT! and they still tried to take the shot. Make a long story short, one girl had to go to the hospital, the other girl fell off her bed in the middle of the night and woke up with her head in the garbage, and the other girl was fine.

I will keep these three classy ladies nameless.

Moving on from Vodka, lets dabble with Whiskey.

I’ve had my period of time when Jack  was my go to liquor. Shots of Jack, Jack and Coke, Jack and Ginger, these were all my favorite drinks. I enjoyed it but it was a known fact that whenever I was going out, I would be blacking out and waking up the next morning scared as to what I did the night before. It was a vicious cycle. It was summer 2010 that I was knee deep in my Jack Daniels phase. I can attest to that fact that every night I went out that summer, I blacked out. Not one of my finer moments but what are you going to do?

A quick Whiskey related story – When I was 20, a group of us went to Montreal for New Years Eve.  After what felt like the longest drive of my life, we got there and wanted to start drinking right away. The hotel we stayed at gave us 2 free drink vouchers so we instantly went to work. Of course, still being  in my Jack phase, I wanted a Jack and coke, or whatever would be closest to it. I basically nibbled on some whack ass sandwich and we headed to the liquor store to get stocked up for that weekend. After a nice Jack pregame we all headed out to a bar crawl in Montreal. About 6 of us decided we would buy each other rounds of shots. After 5 rounds of Jack shots, I was pretty close to death but we still had 1 more round left and I wasn’t passing up on the free shot. My socially inept friend ordered the round of Jack but didn’t ask the bartender to chill it first. I shot back a piss warm shot of Jack and basically said hello to my downfall. As I was walking by the bouncer I threw up on the floor next to him. We got kicked out of that bar so we decided to go to another bar. (I had no business going anywhere but home) Once we got in the other bar I decided to puke in the bathroom, lay there by the toilet for awhile and basically had to have my friend pick me up and end the night.

Moral of the story – Chill the Jack first, asshole.

This picture was taken at the bar before it all happened

If you can't tell this is after the fact

Finally my least favorite of  ’em all…Tequila.

I have always hated Tequila. I envy people who love Tequila and can do shot after shot of it. The people that can do a Tequila shot without the salt, lime, and constipated face after might even have super human powers. I really have tried my best to like Tequila, hell I even tried to just build somewhat of a tolerance for it, but it never works. One shot of Tequila is okay, but two or more shots and i’m fucked. I get violent, and puking is 100% going to happen. My hangovers the next day are out of this world.

Here’s a little Tequila story for you – Christmas night I have sort of a tradition with my friend Shannon. I would go over to her uncles house after I left my family for Christmas and her Christmas would be winding down. Shannon, her uncle and I would get absolutely bombed. This one year Uncle  decided to show us how to do Tequila poppers. Basically you fill a shot glass with Tequila about 90% and put a drop of Ginger Ale in them and cover the top, slam it on the counter and take the shot while it fizzed. We did so many of these that we were all so drunk  that baby Jesus’ birthday was an afterthought. Uncle’s family had been woken up by the constant slamming of shot glasses on the  granite counter top and it was time to end the night. My favorite part of the night was that this was all being done in one of the funniest looking sweaters I think someone ever got as a gift. Shannon’s mom got her this sweater for Christmas and it till this day cracks me up thinking about it. Back to the story…I ended up being so drunk that I had to be driven home by Shannon’s dad and her uncle had to drive my car behind Shannon’s dad so that my car would be home. My parents watched the whole thing through their window and then I decided to violently puke when I got home. Merry Christmas.

She even had an ugly Christmas sweater party at college and wore it

What is your favorite liquor?