Category Archives: Birthdays

Dressing up just to get drunk

I have to admit, I love a good theme party, and with Christmas just around the corner, how many theme parties will you be attending? I’m sure everyone has the Ugly Sweater party to go to, or the Santa and his Hoe Hoe Hoe’s party. Think outside of the box though? Have you ever been to any out of the loop theme parties?

Here is a list of some of the memorable theme parties from the past. 

1. Strippers & Tippers, CEO’s & Corporate Hoe’s Parties. 

In High School those were all the rage. Actually any excuse for a girl to dress slutty and make a rhyme out of it just so happended to be something every girl wanted to do. Almost like a right of passage. Surfer Bro & Bikini Hoe, Football Bro & Cheerleader Hoe, Santa & His Hoe Hoe Hoe’s, the list can go on and on. **New Drinking Game Alert** Next time you are out, think of names that go with a group of friends, the friend that fucks it up takes a shot. (..and you say I don’t look out for you)

Problem with theme’s like those is that you can’t actually drink and party with strippers unless you are really tipping the hell out of them. They also usually bring a huge bodyguard with them or a small pimp with a gun. When you work in corporate America you will notice the CEO, but 98% of the women aka “corporate hoe’s” look like middle age’d, rundown, mothers that you don’t want dressed slutty.

2. The Highlighter Party 

That party was actually really fun. The girls of course got really into the theme with the way they set up the party and how they completely transformed their house. You walked in, they handed you highlighters, the whole house was turned to black lights, and they had white papers all over the walls. They basically allowed you to go crazy in their house. This was very out of the norm for the house the party was at because to put it nicely, one of the girls living their was as controlling as an abusive boyfriend. Word to the wise though on parties like these; just wear the plain white shirt, you aren’t a badass because you wore blue to the highlighter party.

Don't know why it's not blacklight

3. Candy Land /Neon Party

This was a pretty fun party. Basically the girls who lived at the house decided they wanted to throw a Candy Land party. You had to dress up in neon colors and that was it. They had candy land types of items all over the house. The people at the party were dressed so bright you could have had a migraine. The best part was the candy soaking in Vodka. It may have soaked a little too long because they were violent to eat. Just so happens this party was at Closs’ house at school. I’m starting to notice a little trend with Closs here..anyone else?

We rocked yellow

They rocked pink

4. The Fake theme party 

My personal favorite. One night we decided to call all our friends up and tell them we were having a black out party. All you had to do was wear black, and if you didn’t don’t expect to come in. Naturally, everyone called asking if this was a joke, and wanted to make sure everyone was dressing up. I assured them that they have nothing to worry about and that everyone will be dressed up. It was a great theme that no one thought of before..Emo. The first ever Emo theme party. Everyone started coming over our house dressed in black like a funeral just let out. Much to everyone’s surprise myself and my four roommates were dressed in the brightest color’s possible. Excellent idea. Sorry, don’t have a picture for this one.

5. White Trash Wedding

The Sorority at our school was known for throwing awesome parties. Thankfully, we knew a lot of girls in this Sorority so we got to go to all the parties. The best party I have ever went to that was a theme was the White Trash Wedding. They had a shit load of kegs, shots galore, a fake priest, a fake bride and groom, a fake bridal party, and we were all invited to the ceremony. The ceremony was hilarious; the priest was smoking a cigarette the whole time. We all had a champagne toast after the wedding and then started to aggressively drink. The best part about this wedding was that you HAD to get your outfit from the thrift shop. I rocked a creamsicle orange blazer, a bud light t-shirt and a whack ass tie. Best party ever.

A touch of class

Wow…I miss college.

What are some theme parties you’ve been to?

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One big ass Recap – Birthday’s and Black Out’s

Alright everyone, this will be a long one because we are covering Thanksgiving Eve through the weekend. In case you haven’t picked up on it yet, I don’t post on the weekends, Hangoverbible is strictly a Monday-Friday job. Weekends are spent “On Assignment”.

Enough with the foreplay..lets get dirty..

Wednesday Night – Thanksgiving Eve

Personally, I think Thanksgiving Eve isn’t the night to venture off somewhere. I think it’s fun to go out locally, get pretty disorderly and run into people you haven’t seen in awhile at the bars. That was exactly what I did. Nothing out of the norm that night. We started with a pregame at Derek’s apartment, went to the bar’s, waited on some lines. Spent a lot of money and that was it. Pretty standard Thanksgiving Eve. It wasn’t until I stopped for pizza, tried to go to another bar, then tried to go home, then tried to go to another bar, and finally noticed my brother driving home that the night went from 0 to 60. I basically got in the car pretty drunk and decided to yell and go on a drunken rant about cheap people and how I can’t stand them for the whole ride home. I kept going at McDonald’s, threw my fries all over the car, lost my burger somewhere and fell asleep. When we got home I decided to keep yelling, woke the whole family up and woke up the next morning with my laptop thrown, and my glasses crushed. It’s safe to say, I am a violent sleeper.

Thursday – Thanksgiving Day

It’s hard to pretend we’re all a peachy happy family when I had everyone up at 4 am to listen to my drunken rant. Since I hardly remembered it, I really don’t count it. My older brother was especially pissed because my drunken rant targeted his one specific friend. However, like I have stated in a previous post, if I don’t remember it, it didn’t happen. My Thanksgiving was spent eating and getting sick from all the wine. How was yours? 

Birthday’s and Black Out’s – Friday & Saturday 

Friday –

I basically lived in White Plains this weekend. Friday night Paul’s sister Michelle took us all to White Plains for her boyfriend George’s birthday. We started at a dinner and went to the bars after. At dinner a few great things happended. Somehow the topic of “Muff Diving” came up. Someone who I will leave nameless (It wasn’t a guy, and it wasn’t Michelle)  made a comment that was one for the books. “I don’t know how you guys go under the Muff”. Unexpected? Yes..Hilarious? You know it. Our table was pissed off because we clearly missed the BYOBaby policy at the bar. At around 11ish, the group next to us revealed that attached to the guy’s chest was a baby. Seeing a baby in a packed bar with music blasting is a sight very few get to see and I am damn proud I saw him. At the rate that baby is going, I can without a doubt see him on Jersey Shore Season 15. Another quote I have from Friday night is “Slap on a dick”. I really have no clue what that was from. I just have it on a memo in my phone saying “post on blog” . Overall the night was really fun, Terasita was ordering “Fun Shots”, we ventured off to the upstairs at Elements for a quick trip to Spain and then I got lost at the Hudson Grille.

Baby taking a rest from dancing

T's fun shots..

Saturday – 

Continuing the Birthday’s and Black Out’s theme I was originally supposed to go to the City. After basically everyone bailed on me I ended up going to another birthday in White Plains. We went to Thirsty Turtle, not gonna lie, last time I went there I was still in college, but it was fun as hell. Drod decided to buy 20 shots which is never a bad thing. She also debuted a new dance move which was very similiar to happy feet, again..never a bad thing. On the away home from White Plains I made another proclamation that I am changing my moving plans to White Plains, again. Paul and I tried to recruit Higgins but he wasn’t feeling it. His loss. After we were dropped off at Pearl River the night took a turn for the outrageous. We went to 1 bar for a little, I don’t even remember the bar. So if I spoke to you, disregard it all. Paul and I decided to get pizza, the place was closed and Domino’s had 5 more minutes until they closed. We both ordered a pie each and hailed a cab. In the cab I stressed the importance of voting to the cab driver for the whole ride home. He was black, and I informed him that a black president like him wouldn’t be awful and he should run or try to make a difference. I was dancing pretty close to crossing the line that night. I gave him a slice of pizza, three bags of stolen chips and let him come inside to take a piss. After he pissed he sat at my kitchen table and we ate pissed as I kept stressing the importance of voting. Ladies and Gent’s eating pizza in your house at 4am with a cab driver and talking politics is called hitting rock bottom.

Happy Feet and her new friend

Higgs, Happy feet and their new friend

Genie sighting

Overall great weekend..I changed my moving plans again, talked republican politics with my cab driver, and spent way too much funny.

 

What did you do this weekend?


Little Late Recap

Hello Hello…Sorry  I didn’t post yesterday, I won’t even sugarcoat it..I just really didn’t feel like it. Monday’s are hard to attempt to be funny on, so I figured lets just skip that day.

 

So lets pretend it’s Monday..roll up our sleeves and get dirty?

Friday

Friday night started at a wake and ended with a bar fight. Yes, a few hours separated these two incidents, but they still happened. After the wake I went over to my buddy’s apartment and a group of us drank until we were numb and decided to make way to the bars. Not gonna lie, this was possibly the longest pregame I have ever participated  in. I got there at around 9:30 and we didn’t go to the bars until it was 1:30.  Thankfully, the bars by us don’t close until 4am so we had some time. We started at one bar that was pretty dead, so we literally danced in a circle, pounded a few beers and moved on to the next one. The second bar we went too used to be a favorite of mine, but as of lately it started sucking. At around 3:30 a fight broke out that was one for the books. Bouncers ran over and couldn’t break it up, so the bartenders ran over to help, and finally when both failed, the cops had to run in. This isn’ t the first fight i’ve witnessed at this place.

1st Incident– Trev, Bri, Will, Justin, and myself went to this bar around Christmas time last year. We were by the bathroom and Trev bumped into this guy. (Total Accident) The guy was beyond pissed off and looked a little too much like DMX. The guy proceeded to scream in Trev’s face, and follow us around the bar. We tried talking to him to make the son of a bitch chill out and he just wouldn’t listen. It was at the point where he told us he would like to take us outside so that he can kill us. Meanwhile, keep in mind, while this insane little Pitbull of a person is telling us he wants to bash our skull in, Trev and I are looking at him like he has 8 heads and kept saying “You need to chill, he bumped into you and apologized”. Slowly, but surely this little Pitbull of a guy turned it into a race issue. Make a long story short the fight ended with him cracking a wise ass smile and putting his arm around us and telling us “You crackers fucked with the wrong n****”.  Till this day, whenever I spot him out I close my eyes and envision kicking him in the face, but I just look away.

2nd Incident – We all went to the same bar over the summer. There’s like 8 bars on this strip so hate it or love it you will be going to the same bars a lot. A group of us were dancing on the dance floor but these little bitchy girls decided they wanted to talk in the middle of the dance floor. They were getting heated that my buddy kept bumping them while he was dancing. One of us made a little comment along the lines of “it’s a dance floor, have your conversation to the sides” Naturally, they took this comment the same way they would take hearing that someone killed their grandmother. They were pissed. Half of us went to another bar while the other half went home. The remaining few decided to get pizza before calling it a night. It just so happens that the girls from the bar sat at the table next to us. Comments started flying around and one of their guy friends decided to come up to me to soothe sit situation. One of our girls Cait decided to tell him “If you hang out with pieces of shit like that, get the fuck away from us.” One of the girls walked over, grabbed Cait’s hand and slapped her, which sparked Cait jumping up and unleashing on this girl. We decided to wait about 5 minutes so that we wouldn’t have to run into them as we left, but sure enough as soon as we walked out, they were waiting. The girl went to go after Cait, but being a gentleman I jumped in front. After about the 6th slap to my face this little bitch made contact with her nail to my eye. If you know this story, you know what happened after..I won’t be repeating the rest. (Don’t worry, I didn’t hit a bitch)

Saturday 

Saturday was the Big Bad Bull’s birthday in the city. It was a lot of fun. A lot of our friends were there, we all took a lot of shots, and I tried sneaking into the VIP area for some Mozz Sticks. Interestingly enough, the birthday girl stayed at her party for about an hour. We missed our train so we got to the bar late, and the birthday girl had her own agenda. Only one thing funny happened on Saturday. One of our more obnoxious friends decided it was okay to walk out of her apartment with hot pink lips. This was one of the funniest sights of the night. As luck would have it, I took a picture for you.

hahaha

I had a blast with those bad boys.

Great idea

Sunday

As if i didn’t hate Sunday’s enough…

Well I woke up sunday morning from my friends place, we did a quick recap of the night, everyone was laughing having a great time. My hangover was hardly even there so I was ready to get home relax a little, shower and tailgate before the Jets game. Well if you haven’t learned from this blog yet, my life is never that easy. As I left, my car had a flat and I didn’t realize until I was in the middle of 287. Now, when you have Amanda in the car, pulling over on the side of the road is nothing out of the ordinary, but this time it wasn’t for her to puke. I’m guilty of being a little bitch and not knowing how to change a flat. I’ll put that on the bucket list. Trevor, my college roommate from Texas would have killed me. This guy can change a flat tire in give or take 4 minutes. Freshman year when he fixed my flat he informed me “That’s the problem with y’all New York bitches, Triple A, in Texas they throw us under the cars when we’re like 5.” We had to wait for the tow truck to come and fix it. Not a big deal at all, besides the fact that I looked like a fucking idiot. I had a on a yellow looney toon’s shirt that says “Da Crew”, purple and gold Lakers shorts, argyle socks and dress shoes. Let me tell you, when that tow truck driver got out of his truck to fix my flat and I looked like that…that was rock bottom. He was cool though, fixed it really fast and I accidently tipped him a 50 instead of a 20, after seeing his eyes light up I realized the mistake I made. The day got better once I got home and went to the Jets game, and then they lost.

There it is

 

This was supposed to be the "Rock Bottom" picture

Overall this weekend was a good one minus the little incident Sunday morning. How was your weekend & who else can’t change a tire? 


Thursday Throwback – Happy Birthday John!

Staying with the birthday theme for this week, I decided I would make the Throwback story this week birthday related. This was from our friends surprise party in the city.

John’s girlfriend, and Hangoverbible regular, Jill decided she was going to throw John a surprise party for his birthday. She planned a whole big open bar deal for everyone, she got all our friends from school to come, all his friends from home to come, and even some of his family. John had no clue about the party, so basically mission accomplished right? We all got to the bar pretty early, the bartender clearly wasn’t ready for all of us, he had no clue what he was doing; instead of giving us wristbands, he wrote huge X’s on our hands in sharpie. Finally, he got a hold of the situation and the night was off to a great start.

A lot of women were coming in, some were good looking, others were manly, we didn’t really think anything of it. Before John came, we all started noticing one thing, this was without a doubt a lesbain bar, and ALL the lesbians at this bar were giving us death stares as to why the hell we were there. Shit officially got awkward. I won’t lie, my grouping of friends are not the type that just blends in a situation, we like to have our presence known when we go out.

Shortly after that John walks in, we all yell surprise and continue on with our night. Had to proceed with caution though because these girls really didn’t like that we were there. Girl on girl on the dance floor, girl on girl going on at the tables, girl on girl at the bar, girl on girl everywhere. I’m sure some of you are thinking “Girl on girl? That doesn’t sound that bad” well half of these girls were giving looks like they wanted you the fuck out of the bar as soon as possible. The night was fun, everyone ended up getting very drunk, we were all pretty cool with the lesbians by the time the night ended.

However, one thing you need to know about me is that there rarely is a happy ending. This story will prove that. As we are all leaving, most of us had left already, and of course a fight breaks out. Some of our buddies got in a fight with what may have been the other group of straight people at the bar. I was already on the train when I started getting texts saying “FIGHT BROKE OUT, C***** HIT HIS HEAD AND ITS GUSHING BLOOD AND T**** GOT STABBED”. Naturally, I shit my pants..someone got stabbed? Is this a fucking joke? I called and texted everyone, didn’t really get any answers, so with there being not much that I can do at this point I got off the train, grabbed some McDonalds and went back to my friends house and waited for the aftermath to ensue.

Make a long story short, the stabbing wasn’t that bad..it was a nice little cut around his fingers, and the head trauma wasn’t really bad either. No one had to go to the hospital, all was well. At the end of the day, shit happens when you party with lesbians.

Birthday Boy

 

Finally, a pic of Pete

 

My usual routine when I go out

 

Mark DJ'ing

Whens your birthday and how did/do you celebrate?